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Knitwear Revolution



Last Updated: 3/7/2009

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Status: Single
Country: UK
Signup Date: 5/1/2006

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Friday, September 01, 2006 
And I Flick! Just had a look through our material. I dont think it is very good. I did at the time but I was also slightly off my head back then, you know. In any case SADLY D9 is now settled into domestic bliss with her boyfriend, Thunder is an invesment banker and jetting around and I am the only loser who isnt all there....I ll think of something. See ya x
8:51 AM 
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Monday, June 05, 2006 

Current mood:  excited
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

WAKR ARE TAKING THEIR SUMMER HOLIDAYS FROM NOW TO END OF SUMMER NATURALLY!

You can find us at all the summer festivals with Flick!'s stepdad John the old rocker where we'll be hanging out with Axl etc in Roskilde and smoking home grown doobies with the old man. You gotta love those 60s remnants. They dont know much but what they do know is solid. No pun.

We'll be back in September with new dates, material and better tans! 

Ciao

Flick!

10:47 AM 
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Wednesday, May 03, 2006 

Category: Music

LEG WARMERS 

I used to think you were my soulmate

I used to think you would always be there to warm me up

I used to think we would dance together forever

But now you are dancing with someone else

And I am dancing alone

 

You were my legwarmers for a time

Uh yeah

You were there to support my shins

Wabba de babba de bab

You were so fucked up

Yabba du ba de da

 

I am sitting in an empty Starbucks on a Sunday afternoon

I should be with you

But you are warming up someone elses thighs

Not mine, mine are closed together

I wanna open up my thighs

 

I drink my frappuchino and stare out onto the road ahead

Sometimes without you I wish I was dead

But I know you will live on forever in my head

Because I am fucked up too

 

You were my legwarmers for a time

Uh yeah

You were there to support my shins

Wabba de babba de bab

You were so fucked up

Yabba du ba de da

 

I get up to go get a paper from the till

I open up the Daily Sport and see you within

You are a famous rock star now

I am working as a temp in the City

Where did it all go wrong?

 

I walk to the office where I check my emails

Nothing from you in fact you cannot even spell

Why do I miss you so monkey boy oh why ooh yeah

I cry at my desk as I get so upset I weep into my keyboard

 

The boss comes over and says I am fired

Almost before he has said I am hired

I get up from my chair and act debonair

No one is gonna get me down babba de de da babba de dum

 

I walk down the road and close up my coat

I see your face in the window of HMV

I spit on your lies and close my eyes

Bad idea I am lost in the crowd and get hit by a bicyclist

 

You were my legwarmers for a time

Uh yeah

You were there to support my shins

Wabba de babba de bab

You were so fucked up

Yabba du ba de da

Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "Leg Warmers"

 

WOLLY JUMPER

You are my cosy, cosy jumper ooh yeah

I love you in a cosy way

I dont want to have sex with you though

Which explains why you have another girl on the side

 

I dont care I act debonair and stop and stare

Ooh yeah

I stop and stare at your cosy underwear

And wish I wasnt there

Ooh yeah

 

You come home from work and I hear you burp

You are wrapped up in a grey cardigan and act like a he she man

I cringe and wish I had another boyfriend because you are shit

I call a cab and put on some slap

 

I go to a club and wish the music will never stop

I dance around all night rubbing up against someone light

He asks me for a fuma I think he is Italian so I tell him to piss off

I aint desperate enough

 

I go to the bar and pretend I am driving a car

I look cool with my fag standing there like another hag

I wish I was Claudia Schiffer so I could make all the men quiver

Really I am missing my cosy wolly jumper at home so I go

 

I dont care I act debonair and stop and stare

Ooh yeah

I stop and stare at the sad tossers out there

And wish I wasnt there

Ooh yeah

 

I walk home and find you in front of the telly watching the game

Cable tv is a curse in this home

I go to the bedroom and rock up something sexy

I go back in to see you and fuck you and acidentally you call me Lexi

 

I dont care I act debonair and stop and stare

Ooh yeah

I stop and stare at your expression and see you dont care

And wish I wasnt there

Ooh yeah

 

I used to think it was all so perfect

Now I know it aint and I know you arent a saint

I get in my car and drive to my mums

I decide we can no longer be chums

Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "Wolly Jumper"

 

 

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE T-SHIRT BOYS?

I used to see boys in t shirts

They were so super doper sexy and fun

Now I think they have all gone on the run

Ah the days of fucking around oh yeah

 

Tshirt boy tshirt boy come back and be my toy

Djinga djinga bash boo la de doo

I wanna take off your tshirt boy and see what is underneath

We can go swimming on Hampstead Heath

Yauw bauw yeah de de de da da da crash boom bash

 

I see a guy on the street and he smiles at me

I run over and say hello he looks at me and asks me for blow

I tell him I know a guy called Trick who I used to beat off with sticks

The guy smiles and takes me for a coffee I suck on a milky toffee

 

Tshirt boy tshirt boy come back and be my toy

Djinga djinga bash boo la de doo

I wanna take off your tshirt boy and see what is underneath

We can go swimming on Hampstead Heath

Yauw bauw yeah de de de da da da crash boom bash

 

I walk down the hill and feel a certain thrill

I feel like a hunter about to kill

An animal or buy a magazine oh yeah

I see a guy and he sniggers at me

I go back and bash his head in

 

Tshirt boy tshirt boy come back and be my toy

Djinga djinga bash boo la de doo

I wanna take off your tshirt boy and see what is underneath

We can go swimming on Hampstead Heath

Yauw bauw yeah de de de da da da crash boom bash

Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "What happened to the t-shirt boys?"

 

SPRING/SUMMER/MAN/WOMAN?

I love the summertime

Yeah I do, I do, I do, I do

I wear all my sexy frocks

And hang out on the docks

 

I bet on the dogs and write on my blogs

I sit in the sun and wait for some fun

I chat up sexy men

And say I ll see them again

 

I walk around and strut my stuff

I never get quit enough

Of the sexy summertime fun

For you and for me

It can be all it can be

 

And baby if you wanna come in my car

You gotta promise to come all the way with me

To get the summertime feeling, oh yeah oh yeah

Dont talk about tomorrow it will only bring you sorrow

I am a hot chick sucking on your dick

And you never will know I used to be a man

 

When I was called John my mum said I was an odd one

She used to get cross when I nicked her fake tan

When I wore her shoes she used to refuse

 

Baby, baby the summertime feeling is making me aroused

Sing along with me as we drive down to Brighton beach

I wanna sit on a rock and look at the dock

 

La de da de da de da de da ya ya ya yaumabubbabba da

Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "Spring/Summer/Man/Woman?" 

 

OLD JUMPERS AND NEW TRENDS

When I look in my closet I am stunned

To see how many jumpers I have collected

Its almost as Ive been conned

I no longer feel so connected

 

The knitwear I used to wear

I now just stop and wanna tear

It all apart

I just wanna look super doper smart

Yeah yeah yeah yeah ooh yeah

 

I used to be much less into fashion

It used to be easy to shop

Now I have developed a passion

And I cannot ever stop

 

The knitwear I used to wear

I now just stop and wanna tear

It all apart

I just wanna look super doper smart

Yeah yeah yeah yeah ooh yeah

 

I am in a bar in Soho

I see a wolly jumper

I know fashion now is boho

And I wanna go and thump her

 

The knitwear I used to wear

I now just stop and wanna tear

It all apart

I just wanna look super doper smart

Yeah yeah yeah yeah ooh yeah

 

I am dancing around in the Lock

I see a V-neck and I choke up

Fashion crazy is what I am

I get distracted and snog a boy called Sam

 

The knitwear I used to wear

I now just stop and wanna tear

It all apart

I just wanna look super doper smart

Yeah yeah yeah yeah ooh yeah

 

I ask him to come home with me

He says he wants to but he just needs to fetch his stuff

You can imagine what I am about to see

A wolly jumper is on him when I tell him to fuck off

 

The knitwear I used to wear

I now just stop and wanna tear

It all apart

I just wanna look super doper smart

Yeah yeah yeah yeah ooh yeah

Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "Old Jumpers and New Trends" 

 

TWO FOR THE ROAD

I am in a fancy motorcar

You already guessed it I am a star

A tabloid queen and often in a magazine

I am a mover and shaker on the London scene

 

You, you, you aint good enough for me

You can take me only in a limousine

If you have a cup of coffee

I might say go fuck yourself and suck on a toffee

Because I am used to lots and lots

And you baby about you I just dont give a toss

 

Walking down the red carpet

I see Jonathan Ross and I wave and he sees my armpit

Yuk how gross and how revolting

Then I see Mcauley Culkin

 

I love it when I am dancing

Lots of guys are afraid of chancing

Chatting me up

They are afraid Ill make them drop

 

Everyone is in love with me

Of course the reason why is plain to see

I am sexy I am hot

And I am good at sucking cock

 

You, you, you aint good enough for me

You can take me only in a limousine

If you have a cup of coffee

I might say go fuck yourself and suck on a toffee

Because I am used to lots and lots

And you baby about you I just dont give a toss

 

One day I will be alone and single

And I will be on the radio doing a voice over jingle

Because it will be my only option when I have failed all else

And maybe Ill  live in a flat with nasty smells

 

You, you, you aint good enough for me

You can take me only in a limousine

If you have a cup of coffee

I might say go fuck yourself and suck on a toffee

Because I am used to lots and lots

And you baby about you I just dont give a toss

Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "Two for the Road" 
 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MALE MODEL BE MINE

He's a male model and he isn't gay

I can't believe my luck today

He is very broke and poor

I wonder if I can pay him to come on my tour

 

Male model be miiiiaaaiiiineeee

Male model all the taaaiiiiimmmiiieee

Male model I want your

Your look is like a powerful hex

Yau Yeah Wow bam bam da dam

 

We are walking around Soho and I can tell he is lost

He doesn't read so well, and I don't think he gives a toss

Street names and direction

They don't really get his attention

 

I am at a fashion show

With my new male model boyfriend Joe

He is strutting up and down the catwalk

And all the women look and stop to talk

 

All they can do is think:

 

Male model be miiiiaaaiiiineeee

Male model all the taaaiiiiimmmiiieee

Male model I want your sex

Your look is like a powerful hex

Yau Yeah Wow bam bam da dam

 

I take my male model on holiday

I know at the end I will have to pay

I am the only one with a proper job

And of fashion products I don't need a constant top-up

 

But it's ok because he's fit and really good at givin it

All a lady needs is some really hot shit

To keep her warm at night

With someone who doesn't put up a fight

And looks a bit of all right

 

Male model be miiiiaaaiiiineeee

Male model all the taaaiiiiimmmiiieee

Male model I want your sex

Your look is like a powerful hex

Yau Yeah Wow bam bam da dam

Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "Male Model be Mine"

 

LAMBSWOOL NO MORE

I used to say I don't mind what you are

In my eyes anyone can be a superstar

You were a lambswool sexy tight knit

And I used to think you were a real snug fit

 

Lambswool no more

uh uh uh uh

Lambswool no more

Yau Yau Yeah

Lambswool no more

Wheeey yau yeah

You just aint what I want

 

I remember standing in line in Karen Millen

I never usually go there, but I gave it a chance

It was a rainy afternoon and I needed shelter

So I went in and found you on a shelf there

 

I picked you up and you were so soft

Your soft vibrant colours caressed my cheek

And I knew I had to have you even if you came cheap

You were just so thrilling and a real steal a must

 

Lambswool no more

uh uh uh uh

Lambswool no more

Yau Yau Yeah

Lambswool no more

Wheeey yau yeah

You just aint what I want

 

I was happy and singing that day as I walked down Knightsbridge

I knew I was going home to wear something makeshift

But so beautiful and snug

All I could think of was the soft lambswool feeling you brought to me

 

When I got home I put you

You fitted like a torso in a pullover so nice and fun

I sat on my sofa all day and couldn't let myself stop smiling

It was the best fit I ever had although not the best quality blend

 

Lambswool no more

uh uh uh uh

Lambswool no more

Yau Yau Yeah

Lambswool no more

Wheeey yau yeah

You just aint what I want

 

I took you out for dinner and it worked at first

I didn't need to dry clean you as you could go in the washing machine

It didn't take very much effort to get you clean

I loved that you and I were so snug and comfy at first

 

Then after a couple of washes you started to burst

It was like you were burning with thirst

You shrank and you shrank and bubbles appeared

It was like you wanted me to be skinnier to fit into your yarn

 

Lambswool no more

uh uh uh uh

Lambswool no more

Yau Yau Yeah

Lambswool no more

Wheeey yau yeah

You just aint what I want

 

At first I tried to lose weight so I could still wear you

I tried to stretch you too but you cried and whined

In the end I knew there was only one thing to do

It was to get rid of you

 

Now I am back at shopping off the high street

I am sick of having to change my wardrobe constantly

So I buy good quality goods

I have my jumpers dry cleaned and looked after by Judd

 

Because...

 

Lambswool no more

uh uh uh uh

Lambswool no more

Yau Yau Yeah

Lambswool no more

Wheeey yau yeah

You just aint what I want

 Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "Lambswool No More"

 

GOLF SWEATER

I once knew a golf sweater he wore himself so well

He said he was a Pringle

Only I could really tell

That he was a Benetton and much, much cheaper

Than he admitted to

I once knew a golf sweater I will tell a story to you

 

Golf, golf sweater, you are a snob

Golf, golf sweater get a job

Golf, golf sweater be who you really are

Golf, golf sweater you could be a caddy star

Golf, golf sweater instead you aim for pro

Golf, golf sweater what is wrong with you

 

My golf sweater friend he is on the green again

I walk up to say hi and he barely sees me

He is busy chatting up a windbreaker on hole eight

And I feel the wind go through me, I am only cashmere 40%

The windbreaker is at least 60% and has no synthetics

But I know that my golf sweater friend is all lambswool and no good in the end

 

Golf, golf sweater, you are a snob

Golf, golf sweater get a job

Golf, golf sweater be who you really are

Golf, golf sweater you could be a caddy star

Golf, golf sweater instead you aim for pro

Golf, golf sweater what is wrong with you

 

I see my golf sweater friend in town, he is in the supermarket, Tesco actually

I am in the Waitrose, across the street and I wave, he looks down and I can see a tear fall

Embarrassment is fierce and I drive away in my Ferrari car

He lives in a small flat behind Gloucester Road and drives a Ford Escort

I live in the Bolton's and I have my own moth balls

He is realising he is a Benetton sweater and I can't say anything to help

Ah, why did you have to always pretend?

 

Golf, golf sweater, you are a snob

Golf, golf sweater get a job

Golf, golf sweater be who you really are

Golf, golf sweater you could be a caddy star

Golf, golf sweater instead you aim for pro

Golf, golf sweater what is wrong with you

 

I look in the mirror one day and I can see the label says Chanel

I look again and I smile at myself

I am in a shop and I can see a blue Armarni smiling at me

I look around and now I feel the warmth coming to me

I forget about the golf sweater I used to know

The sweater that is now in a charity shop in Milton Keynes

Where it could have been still in a wardrobe in S W ten

It is now alone with a hundred others like him

 

Golf, golf sweater, you are a snob

Golf, golf sweater get a job

Golf, golf sweater be who you really are

Golf, golf sweater you could be a caddy star

Golf, golf sweater instead you aim for pro

Golf, golf sweater what is wrong with you

Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "Golf Sweater"

 

ITCHY POLYESTER BLEND

You itchy, itchy, ithcy jumper

Uaaaaoohhhh

You itch me, itch me, itch me

Uaaaaoohhhh

I'm gonna take you off now

Uaaaaoohhhh

And scratch myself all over

Uaaaaoohhhh

I now feel so much warmer

Uaaaaoohhhh

 

Itchy polyester blend you make me so horny

Itchy polyester blend you are my afrodisiac

You itch me, itch me, itch me to have a self fulfilled shag

 

You itchy, itchy, ithcy jumper

Uaaaaoohhhh

You itch me, itch me, itch me

Uaaaaoohhhh

I'm gonna take you off now

Uaaaaoohhhh

And scratch myself all over

Uaaaaoohhhh

I now feel so much warmer

Uaaaaoohhhh

 

I walk around my house in my itchy polyester jumper

My hands are all over myself and I wanna lie down and ****

But I cannot do it to you because you are made of wool

And as I come all over you I notice you start to smell

 

You itchy, itchy, ithcy jumper

Uaaaaoohhhh

You itch me, itch me, itch me

Uaaaaoohhhh

I'm gonna take you off now

Uaaaaoohhhh

And scratch myself all over

Uaaaaoohhhh

I now feel so much warmer

Uaaaaoohhhh

 

I put you my sexy itchy polyester jumper in the washing machine

I put it onto delicates and wool and only thirty degrees

Still when you come out you have shrunk and I no longer feel so hot

For you my itchy polyester blend

 

You itchy, itchy, ithcy jumper

Uaaaaoohhhh

You itch me, itch me, itch me

Uaaaaoohhhh

I'm gonna take you off now

Uaaaaoohhhh

And scratch myself all over

Uaaaaoohhhh

I now feel so much warmer

Uaaaaoohhhh

 

I drop you outside in the bin and cry as I walk in

I see a cat walk up to where you are buried in the trash and I wanna spend my cash

On a new itchy polyester jumper to get me hot again

The cat snuggles up next to you and I know you are forever lost

 

You itchy, itchy, ithcy jumper

Uaaaaoohhhh

You itch me, itch me, itch me

Uaaaaoohhhh

I'm gonna take you off now

Uaaaaoohhhh

And scratch myself all over

Uaaaaoohhhh

I now feel so much warmer

Uaaaaoohhhh

Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "Itchy Polyester Blend"

 

 

 

 
 

 

9:01 AM 
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Wednesday, May 03, 2006 

Current mood:  accomplished
Male Model Be Mine

He's a male model and he isn't gay
I can't believe my luck today
He is very broke and poor
I wonder if I can pay him to come on my tour

Male model be miiiiaaaiiiineeee
Male model all the taaaiiiiimmmiiieee
Male model I want your sex
Your look is like a powerful hex
Yau Yeah Wow bam bam da dam

We are walking around Soho and I can tell he is lost
He doesn't read so well, and I don't think he gives a toss
Street names and direction
They don't really get his attention

I am at a fashion show
With my new male model boyfriend Joe
He is strutting up and down the catwalk
And all the women look and stop to talk

All they are thinking is:

Male model be miiiiaaaiiiineeee
Male model all the taaaiiiiimmmiiieee
Male model I want your sex
Your look is like a powerful hex
Yau Yeah Wow bam bam da dam

I take my male model on holiday
I know at the end I will have to pay
I am the only one with a proper job
And of fashion products I don't need a constant top-up

But it's ok because he's fit and really good at givin it
All a lady needs is some really hot shit
To keep her warm at night
With someone who doesn't put up a fight
And looks a bit of all right

Male model be miiiiaaaiiiineeee
Male model all the taaaiiiiimmmiiieee
Male model I want your sex
Your look is like a powerful hex
Yau Yeah Wow bam bam da dam
8:57 AM 
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Wednesday, May 03, 2006 

Category: Music
ITCHY POLYESTER BLEND

You itchy, itchy, ithcy jumper
Uaaaaoohhhh
You itch me, itch me, itch me
Uaaaaoohhhh
I'm gonna take you off now
Uaaaaoohhhh
And scratch myself all over
Uaaaaoohhhh
I now feel so much warmer
Uaaaaoohhhh

Itchy polyester blend you make me so horny
Itchy polyester blend you are my afrodisiac
You itch me, itch me, itch me to have a self fulfilled shag

You itchy, itchy, ithcy jumper
Uaaaaoohhhh
You itch me, itch me, itch me
Uaaaaoohhhh
I'm gonna take you off now
Uaaaaoohhhh
And scratch myself all over
Uaaaaoohhhh
I now feel so much warmer
Uaaaaoohhhh

I walk around my house in my itchy polyester jumper
My hands are all over myself and I wanna lie down and fuck
But I cannot do it to you because you are made of wool
And as I come all over you I notice you start to smell

You itchy, itchy, ithcy jumper
Uaaaaoohhhh
You itch me, itch me, itch me
Uaaaaoohhhh
I'm gonna take you off now
Uaaaaoohhhh
And scratch myself all over
Uaaaaoohhhh
I now feel so much warmer
Uaaaaoohhhh

I put you my sexy itchy polyester jumper in the washing machine
I put it onto delicates and wool and only thirty degrees
Still when you come out you have shrunk and I no longer feel so hot
For you my itchy polyester blend

You itchy, itchy, ithcy jumper
Uaaaaoohhhh
You itch me, itch me, itch me
Uaaaaoohhhh
I'm gonna take you off now
Uaaaaoohhhh
And scratch myself all over
Uaaaaoohhhh
I now feel so much warmer
Uaaaaoohhhh

I drop you outside in the bin and cry as I walk in
I see a cat walk up to where you are buried in the trash and I wanna spend
my cash
On a new itchy polyester jumper to get me hot again
The cat snuggles up next to you and I know you are forever lost

You itchy, itchy, ithcy jumper
Uaaaaoohhhh
You itch me, itch me, itch me
Uaaaaoohhhh
I'm gonna take you off now
Uaaaaoohhhh
And scratch myself all over
Uaaaaoohhhh
I now feel so much warmer
Uaaaaoohhhh

Knitwear Revolution, 2006 "Itchy Polyester Blend"

LAMBSWOOL NO MORE

I used to say I don't mind what you are
In my eyes anyone can be a superstar
You were a lambswool sexy tight knit
And I used to think you were a real snug fit

Lambswool no more
uh uh uh uh
Lambswool no more
Yau Yau Yeah
Lambswool no more
Wheeey yau yeah
You just aint what I want

I remember standing in line in Karen Millen
I never usually go there, but I gave it a chance
It was a rainy afternoon and I needed shelter
So I went in and found you on a shelf there

I picked you up and you were so soft
Your soft vibrant colours carressed my cheek
And I knew I had to have you even if you came cheap
You were just so thrilling and a real steal a must

Lambswool no more
uh uh uh uh
Lambswool no more
Yau Yau Yeah
Lambswool no more
Wheeey yau yeah
You just aint what I want

I was happy and singing that day as  I walked down Knightsbridge
I knew I was going home to wear something makeshift
But so beautiful and snug
All I could think of was the soft lambswool feeling you brought to me

When I got home I put you
You fitted like a torso in a pullover so nice and fun
I sat on my sofa all day and couldn't let myself stop smiling
It was the best fit I ever had although not the best quality blend

Lambswool no more
uh uh uh uh
Lambswool no more
Yau Yau Yeah
Lambswool no more
Wheeey yau yeah
You just aint what I want

I took you out for dinner and it worked at first
I didn't need to dry clean you as you could go in the washing machine
It didn't take very much effort to get you clean
I loved that you and I were so snug and comfy at first

Then after a couple of washes you started to burst
It was like you were burning with thirst
You shrank and you shrank and bubbles appeared
It was like you wanted me to be skinnier to fit into your yarn

Lambswool no more
uh uh uh uh
Lambswool no more
Yau Yau Yeah
Lambswool no more
Wheeey yau yeah
You just aint what I want

At first I tried to lose weight so I could still wear you
I tried to stretch you too but you cried and whined
In the end I knew there was only one thing to do
It was to get rid of you

Now I am back at shopping off the high street
I am sick of having to change my wardrobe constantly
So I buy good quality goods
I have my jumpers dry cleaned and looked after by Judd

Because...

Lambswool no more
uh uh uh uh
Lambswool no more
Yau Yau Yeah
Lambswool no more
Wheeey yau yeah
You just aint what I want


Golf Sweater

I once knew a golf sweater he wore himself so well
he said he was a Pringle
Only I could really tell
That he was a Benetton and much much cheaper
Than he admitted to
I once knew a golf sweater I will tell a story to you

Golf, golf sweater, you are a snob
Golf, golf sweater get a job
Golf, golf sweater be who you really are
Golf, golf sweater you could be a caddy star
Golf, golf sweater instead you aim for pro
Golf, golf sweater what is wrong with you

My golf sweater friend he is on the green again
I walk up to say hi and he barely sees me
He is busy chatting up a windbreaker on hole eight
And I feel the wind go through me, I am only cashmere 40%
The windbreaker is at least 60% and has no synthetics
But I know that my golf sweater friend is all lambswool and no good in the
end

Golf, golf sweater, you are a snob
Golf, golf sweater get a job
Golf, golf sweater be who you really are
Golf, golf sweater you could be a caddy star
Golf, golf sweater instead you aim for pro
Golf, golf sweater what is wrong with you

I see my golf sweater friend in town, he is in the supermarket, Tesco
actually
I am in the Waitrose, across the street and I wave, he looks down and I can
see a tear fall
Embarrassment is fierce and I drive away in my Ferrari car
He lives in a small flat behind Gloucester Road and drives a Ford Escort
I live in the Bolton's and I have my own moth balls
He is realising he is a Benetton sweater and I can't say anything to help
Ah, why did you have to always pretend?

Golf, golf sweater, you are a snob
Golf, golf sweater get a job
Golf, golf sweater be who you really are
Golf, golf sweater you could be a caddy star
Golf, golf sweater instead you aim for pro
Golf, golf sweater what is wrong with you

I look in the mirror one day and I can see the label says Chanel
I look again and I smile at myself
I am in a shop and I can see a blue Armarni smiling at me
I look around and now I feel the warmth coming to me
I forget about the golf sweater I used to know
The sweater that is now in a charity shop in Milton Keynes
Where it could have been still in a wardrobe in S W ten
It is now alone with a hundred others like him

Golf, golf sweater, you are a snob
Golf, golf sweater get a job
Golf, golf sweater be who you really are
Golf, golf sweater you could be a caddy star
Golf, golf sweater instead you aim for pro
Golf, golf sweater what is wrong with you

8:55 AM 
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Tuesday, May 02, 2006 

WAKR ARE BACK!

Thank you for your patience with this second Newsletter/Fanzine!

Phew, we just got back from a small tour of the nothern cities of England. We took Newcastle by storm on St Patrick's Day and haven't had a break since!

So much has happened. To all of those who have recently joined and been recommended by friends (as part of the 1,000,000 raffle) a brief re-cap to who we are:

We are Knitwear Revolution. A revolutionary rock band based in London. The band's history: - apologies again if you already received the first newsletter last month, you can skip hop and jump past this bit - The band came together inspired by a new trend in fashion. Art, fashion and music are all interlinked so here we go. It was a very natural mix for us.

We are a revolutionary band in air rock n' roll and we have already played in some of the most desireable spots in London such as: Barfly, Koko, the Lock Tavern, 93 Feet East, The Vibe Bar, The Mean Fiddler, The Troubadour, Brixton Academy and Hammersmith Apollo. We have tour dates lined up for the Graduation Balls at the student unions across the land and also more gigs in London i.e. in June we'll play Hyde Park, Brixton Academy (again) and Wembley supported by Bon Jovi who have handed the pins to us to carry on their legendary Gold Lame Rock n' Roll type shit. We are harder though, and we are really looking forward to playing Hyde Park with the Foo Fighters this summer. We've been told we were great inspiration to the now late Kurt Cobain's choice in knitwear and we would like to pay our respects. Suzie Menkes wrote something like a biography for us with her book: Knitwear Revolution: Designer Patterns to Make. We are flattered to get so many mentions and have such an influence globally. I suppose it's safe enough to say we are trendmakers!

For a while (since the last newsletter) we were reduced to two bandmembers because our lead singer/guitarist and our bass player/second guitar were simply shit. We of course fired and replaced them with two new probabtional members. Please welcome Gahuna and Thunder our new lead guitarist/singer and bass- and sometime guitar player. Welcome new probational band members! A warm thanks to all of you hard on rock devils out there who applied and auditioned. It was tough with all that raw talent, but we had to chose two people, and I think it is safe to say the best people now have won. We are a stronger band for it. Fingers crossed we won't be let down again! Gahuna used to be our roadie, so we are now looking for someone to replace him. If there are anyone out there fancying this position send in your modelling portfolio to Flick! and D9 at: knitwearrevolution@hotmail.co.uk

Still as before, original line-up Flick! (band leader, drums, lyricist, Manager and Fanzine Editor) and D9 (choreography, percussion, rock violin, backing vocals and Art Director) are holding on to the roots of the band and do not appreciate any of the comparisons made between Flick! and Anton Newcombe from the Brian Jonestown Massacre. So let's keep those nasty words from circulating. Peace! Crochet!

Ok, so what else is new, you may ask yourself. Well, it has been a hectic time. We have been recording, we have written new songs, we have been to all the awards and played endless gigs. We have also been drunk a lot and taking shitloads of drugs. Ha ha ha! Oh God we are drunk all the time, really, that's what it's all about! We played the NME Awards where we also won the Award for Best Dressed Band of 2006. Lots of gossip from the after party where D9 snogged Alex Turner the 17 year old singer in the Arctic Monkeys (well done D9, a bit like a night out to Koko on a Friday) and Flick! was seen in the bar locking pins with first Fabrizio and then performing fellatio on Julian from The Strokes. Both D9 and Flick! were also spotted almost polkadotted trying to fend off Alex James who was wearing a silly hat. Tempting though. It was a good night all round as Thunder and Gahuna were caught canoodling with the Long Blondes and Giant Drags. Livin' the dream! Those parties man, the booze, the drugs and the sheer rock n' roll of being a rock dude is just really hard sometimes.I ain't complaining though. You'll never hear me complain. Please keep sending your portfolios in!

Last time, we had a set list, we NOW have a totally NEW set list with all our OWN material! As a SPECIAL GIFT this week we have attached a little song book for you to sing along to our lyrics. The set as it is this month:

My Beautiful Scarf - a scarf which is too good to be true

Leg Warmers - another painful heartbreak

Itchy Polyester Blend - a great themesong for everyone who enjoys masturbation.

As you can see all songs have topical themes.

Next month we will send you photos and hopefully video footage from gigs and have in depth interviews with our bandmembers so you can get a little closer to who we really are. If you would like to ask any of us any specific questions please just email us back on knitwearrevolution@hotmail.co.uk and your question might feature in the next Fanzine!

Stay Snug!

Hugs and Kisses from,

Knitwear Revolution

12:50 PM 
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Wednesday, February 01, 2006 

Current mood:  artistic
Category: Music

Welcome to The Knitwear Revolutions Newsletter!!!

You will be updated on all the news and synthetic hype surrounding the band such as tour dates: we are planning a world tour in August starting in Kashmir, news about our long yarned for debut single Itchy Polyester Blend and anticipated album out in June Rock n Roller Neck Type. You can also find news on lyrics, and well list words to classic songs such as Lambs Wool No More. News on collecting for our charity for the Alpacas and much, much more.

The band came together in early 2006 inspired by a new trend in fashion. Art, fashion and music are all interlinked so here we go. It was a very natural blend for us We are also all from the North, Chris and Bloke are from Cheshire and Heidi and Bee are Scandinavians so we are used to wearing knitwear to keep us warm. Follow the bands blog! Sign up for our newsletter NOW! If you recommend a friend you will have a chance to win our raffle and £1,000,000 in cash prices!!!!

One Saturday we were jammin' at home in our basement - as one does when one is cool and trendy and super avant-garde. So we casually decided to start a new band seeing as we are all so musical. Bee plays drums (just like fellow Dane and tennis champ Lars Ulrich). Heidi (aka the Klumster) is backing vocals and our dance/performance act/choreographer, Chris is lead guitar (separated at birth from Robbie Williams) and also lead singer - and finally Bloke (also known as Elliott from ET) plays bass, guitar and helps with the backing vocals.

One can't live in Primrose Hill unless one is a rock star! Walking down our new street on Saturday really made this obvious to us as there were paparazzi waiting outside two of the neighbours houses - none of them our house. No one was outside number 666! As the White Stripes would say: Get Behind me Satan, make me a rock n roll star! Five seconds later we were! Its almost Faustian!!!

The drummer is obviously the most important part of an act, so Bee also doubles up as the manager. I couldn't be in a band if I wasn't the manager, which I have let the others know. I drive a hard bargain. She says.

We play rock music; we also play Liquid Liquid covers because they have so many instruments and are so inspiring. At the moment our set list is this:

Liquid Liquid we do everything they have ever had out it isn't much and they aren't rock.
Cazals - Innocent Boys, My Ex-Valentine
Subways - At 1AM, Rock n' Roll Queen, Young For Eternity
Maximo Park - Kiss You Better
The Strokes - You only Live Once, Heart in a Cage, Electricityscape
Arctic Moneys - I bet you look good on the Dancefloor
Babyshambles - La Belle Et la Bete, Fuck Forever
The Dandy Warhols - Get Off (might be a bit risky and inspire the audience)
Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me (good news for a rest, Bee can play that with one arm)
Franz Ferdinand - Do You Want To
Mohair - Keep it Together
Muse - Plug in Baby (also could be risky)
Razorlight - Golden Touch, Rock n'Roll Lies
Libertines - Can't Stand Me Now (again this could be risky)
The White Stripes - My Doorbell, Jolene

We are playing all the usual spots in Camden Town over the next few weeks, Barfly etc, we even revisit West London because Bee already has a huge fan base over there and will play the Troubadour in March. We are a real Rock n' Roll band and we are wicked, ace, and we are fucking hard. We hope to play Donningtons Monsters of Rock! and Kerrang! this summer too. We expect free drinks, groupies, in return we will shag anything that moves, mainly models (male models for H and B send portfolios for viewing before meeting please to knitwearrevolution@hotmail.co.uk), and take free clothes from designers. Bee would mainly like Marc Jacobs, Alexander McQueen and Zac Posen to get in touch. Heidi who has previously been hanging out with Vivienne Westwood at a party for Vogue Homme (yes please) would like her PR machinery to ring us too. The others are happy with H&M and Top Shop. We are working on a sponsorship deal with Pringle and Paul Smith sports casual wear as we write this

Apart from that we are touring the student unions this year and need to take some time in the studio to record. We are also playing for the Carboneutrum trusts Hyde Park gig this summer where we'll be sandwiched in between Elton John and Queen. Very fitting as we are an "air" act (air guitar, air drums, air bas, air singing, you get the drift..). I don't know how important that is. It makes us environmentally friendly though as we need very little electricity and minimal rehearsing time.... We are nevertheless writing lyrics for our next album for us to mime, and they will be included in the box set "A Master Class in Revolutionary Knitwear" which will be out in June.

Oh, and did Bee remember to brag about shaking Axl Rose and Slash's hands when she was 14 backstage at a gig? And how cool she was when she peaked in secondary school? Ok, I did think I had said that before, just to make sure...

For our mailing list email: knitwearrevolution@hotmail.co.uk Remember you can win prices if you sign up!!!! As well as get info which is so underground and secret you can impress all your cool friends with your knowledge: Tour dates, latest single, news about the long yarned for debut albumAND MORE!

See you definitely at our next gig!

Stay snug!

Love and kisses from,

THE KNITWEAR REVOLUTION

9:54 AM 
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