the bean looked over the edge of the castle wall and tied his cape into his shoes. he measured the distance between himself and his friend (the cod) using his retractable measuring device and pieces of iron that he taped together, but decided the distance was too far, and his sister agreed. no bean had ever reached the MOUNTAINS of Tea and no amount of exercise or brushing of teethe would ever change this. beans simply could not climb mountains of tea. cod called to bean but a cat with a northern accent started hurling profanities at them all and lept from the caslte wall into a large bowl of tomato sauce. bean’s sister couldnt’ watch. it reminded her of the time her father had been so brutally murderd by her english teacher. spotting his opportunity bean climbed the rope. if he couldn’t go down, he would go up. the balloon began to rise up over the castle and cod threw him a empty hazelnut shell with these words written inside: “my dearest bean, I fear that one of us may not make it through this, if it is me, then do not cry, I have led a good life, and if it is you, i will marry your sister, as she looks like you and i could sometimes even pretend she is you, when i miss you. good luck, your friend, cod”. wiping a tear from his eye, bean continued to rise. he passed a cloud sat in a chair reading a book, and took a pen off his side table. he wrote inside the empty hazelnut shell and let it fall. his sister reading the message smiled and threw the pieces like daggers at the castle’s guards.

Duckling waddled over to the astroturf football pitch. He sang a high C, flipped down his visor, and proceeded to stare down the gangland leaders. The big cheese of this outfit was a Dolphin, named, strangley enough, Charity Stepcase. She was Australian and used to be a hard-core porn actress before joining the local big brass band. Next to her was an overweight Swiss girl wearing only a diving suit (with her name embroidered onto it) and dogtags. Sadly, she had once been strangled by her over zealous fundraiser step-sister who was subsequently deported to the other side of the earth and became a wealthy pomegranate farmer. Charity would refer to this Swiss girl as 'Second hand'.
Duckling watched them fixedly while they sliently danced to music which was, what Duckling could only describe as: 'distorted and atonal industrial-like beats and samples made into a fast tempo rhythm'. Acting as though he had just walked into a shop to purchase an item, that once belonged to somebody else but had to part with due to lack of funds, he approached them.

"Hello, I am Actor Trumpet" he pronounced.

Alison Rose by myself and Nena will be getting played on Tom Robinson's Introducing Show on 6Music. Here are details:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/6musicintroducing
2009 Monday 27th April 01.00-03.00
------------------------------------------------------------
THE MANJINGA 7 - Monsters in the Sky
http://www.myspace.com/themanjinga7

THE BLOOD CHOIR - Night School
http://www.myspace.com/thebloodchoir

THE DORQUES - Lovin' N' Pumpin'
http://www.thedorques.com

6 MUSIC UNSIGNED
ASTEROIDS BROKE MY STEREO - Autumn Leaves
http://www.asteroidsbrokemystereo.co.uk

WILLIAM NEIN & NENA - Alison Rose
http://www.myspace.com/williamnena

THEHOPEFULSPAZTIKS Caroline
http://www.myspace.com/thehopefulspaztiks

UGRESS - Redrum
http://www.ugress.com

INTERVIEW + TRACK
TOODAR - Toy (Extract)
TOODAR - Ten Paces
http://www.myspace.com/toodar

ORPHANS & VANDALS - Terra Firma
http://www.myspace.com/orphansandvandals

HUW STEPHENS TIP
THREE TRAPPED TIGERS - '#1'
http://www.myspace.com/threetrappedtigers

SESSION TRACK
BETTY AND THE WEREWOLVES - Euston Station
http://www.myspace.com/bettyandthewerewolves

BIRDEATSBABY - China Doll
http://www.myspace.com/birdeatsbaby

THE SECOND HAND MARCHING BAND - Lies
http://www.thesecondhandmarchingband.co.uk

VRILLION - The Crazy Clown Song
http://www.vrillion.net

LISTENER ON THE LINE: SCOTT LISTON
VALIA HATZICHRISTOU - Confront the King
http://www.myspace.com/valiahatzichristou

WHITE HEATH - Past the Satellites, Beyond the Fray
http://www.myspace.com/whiteheath

VITAMIN WIG C - Hawaiian Liberaci
http://www.vitaminwigc.com

TROUSSEAUX - Absence
http://www.myspace.com/trousseaux

RUTH BARNES Tip 1
SAGA NURMIS INSTITUT - Ogon Av Mina Ogon
http://www.myspace.com/sagamusik

RUTH BARNES Tip 2
SMILE DOWN UPON US - Kotoba No Yukue
http://www.myspace.com/smiledownuponus2

THE TUMBLEDRYER BABIES - Tell Me What To Do
http://www.myspace.com/thetumbledryerbabies

VIC GALLOWAY TIP:
REMEMBER REMEMBER - The Dancing
http://www.myspace.com/rememberremember

SESSION TRACK
BETTY AND THE WEREWOLVES - David Cassidy
http://www.myspace.com/bettyandthewerewolves

VIBRATONIC - Money
http://www.vibratonic.co.uk