:-D

From explosm.net

It's time for.......



Anybody here know how to do a Vulcan polka?

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would consider having sex with?
Oh GOD yes!  Consider!?? Honey, I'm available ANY TIME!

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Yes

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Starboard side

4. Pork, beef, or chicken?
We still making with the bedroom talk?  Pork.  Food?  Anything BUT pork

5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Yup.

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No, I've been given money to put my clothes back ON

7. Shower or bath?
Shower.  Bath if I could.

8. Do you pee in the shower?
Yes

9. Mexican or Chinese?
Yes please.  I'm f*cking HUNGRY!!!

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I can go either way.  I'll fill the missing role.

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
See #1.  Re: Oh GOD yes!

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
All the actual people, yes

13. Love or money?
Love

14. Credit cards or cash?
Cash

15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish was not?
Nope

16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
5-star hotel

17. What is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Graveyard.  There's a story behind that...

18. Would you shave your entire body -including your head- for money?
Yeah, sure.

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yup.  Not since I was a teenager, though...

20. Ever been to a bar?
Um...yeah.

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
Nope.

22. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
Yup.

23. Kissed someone of the same sex?
See #1 and #11.  :-P

24. Had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Nope

25. Had sex in a movie theater?
Nope

26. Had sex in a bathroom?
A PRIVATE one, yes.  In the tub.

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
No

28. Have you ever been in an adult toy store?
Yup

29. Bought something from an adult toy store?
And yup

30. Have you been caught having sex?
Yup.

31. Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
Define "naughty."  Pretty much, yes.

32. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
*shrug*  Guess we'll find out.

What is your best friend's dad's name?
I don't remember!  O.o

What body part(s) do you hate?
I wouldn't say "HATE," but I'd like to improve my belly.

Have you ever been completely alone with a girl in her bedroom?
Uh, yes, Chet. I'm a freakin' adult!

Have you ever made out in a basement?
No.

What body part do you wash first in the shower?
My 'pits.

Do you have any piercings?
*sigh* No.

Do you have any tattoos?
YES I'M TEH TATTOOED CIRCUS FREAK WITH THREE HEADS AND A DOG NAMED BOB.  No, I don't. :-P

Is your driveway steep?
No, but my tea is.

What's your favorite flavored Pringles?
I don't eat Pringles.

Have you ever been tied up?
ooh.  Ooooh!  No.  Hmm.  No. ....hmmmm...

What was the worst thing you ever got grounded for?
F*cking around in class, IIRC.  No, wait, I just did lines for that.

Have you ever had two dates in one night?
NO!  I'm not a swinger.  And I can barely keep my focus on ONE person, let alone 2!

How many times have you been cursed at?
Can't really say...

Which shoe do you put on first?
Left.

Do you like pickles?
Yes, especially the surprise ones.  (wow, deja vu!)

Have you ever been to a gay bar?
Uh, HELLO!?????  *jazz hands*

Have you ever had any friends with benefits?
Yes.

Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?
hehehe No.  I *have* gone blue-reflector-stealing before, though...I'm such a rebel!

Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
Jason

Have you ever had a song written about you?
Um...no.

If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets or your towel?
I'm sorry, Alex, could you repeat the question?  *confused*

Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable?
heh. yeah.

What was your childhood nickname?
"Buttlick."  I don't remember!!

Have you ever peeked in the opposite sex's locker room?
No.

What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
Fellatio (done to me)

How do you normally eat your Oreo cookies?
I don't.

How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
Depends on the drink and how you define "drunk."  It takes 1 glass of red wine or 2 of any other drink before I get a slight buzz.

Why are you doing this survey?
It's quiet at work right now...

What was the best year of your life?
Excluding this one?  2008.

Any strange phobias?
Phobaphobia??

Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
Just my finger...

When's the last time you threw up?
2004.  Stomach bug.  Not fun.

Have you ever called your love interest by another girl/guys name?
Nevah!!

Have you ever gotten caught sleeping while on a date?
Nope.

Have you ever played naked Twister?
Heh.  No.  I'd LIKE to, but I'm more oak than willow these days... :-/

Have you ever been drunk at school/work?
NO!

1) Who is the last person you high-fived?
Heh.  I *believe* it was Jason’s friend, Gerard.  Or Maxine.  We were pretty drunk.  I can’t really remember…

2) If you were drafted into a war, would you serve?
Depends on whether it were a “good” war (i.e., stopping oppressors, resisting an invasion, etc).  Not sure I’d really have a CHOICE, though.  It’s a DRAFT.

3) Do you sleep with the tv on?
Only when I’m with Jason.

4) Have you ever wheezed the juice?
Have you ever taken an English course??

5) Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Came in 2nd.  “ReceiPt,” dammit!!!

6) Have you ever been stung by a bee?
Yup

7) How fast can you type?
Last time I was clocked it was 93 WPM.

8) Are you afraid of the dark?
LOVE the dark.  I’m a vampire.  OOOoooOOOoOOOooOOOoo!!!

9) What color are your socks?
White

10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in?
Not yet. 

11) When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
Ages ago.  I don’t take baths very often.  They’re more fun when you’re with someone, anyway.  :-D

12) Do you knock on wood?
All the time. *knock on wood*

13) Do you floss daily?
No.  I probably should.  I do, however, rinse and gargle.

14) Do you wanna Fanta?
*shakes head sadly*

15) Can you hula hoop?
Not anymore.  :-(

16) Are you good at keeping secrets?
You’d be surprised.  I’m actually VERY good. Helps to have a shitty memory. :-P

17) What do you want for Christmas?
Love.  *awwwwww*  And a trip to Hawaii.

18) Do you know the Muffin Man?
No. No, I don’t.  That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.  I know NOTHING about Drury Lane or any of that crap!  So LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

19) Do you talk in your sleep?
Honestly, I don’t know…

20) Who wrote the book of love?
I don’t know, but I’ll bet it’s the same guy who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong…

21) Have you ever flown a kite?
Yup.  It’s fun!

22) Do you wish on your fallen eyelashes?
Who did the what now??

23) Do you whiten your teeth?
Yes.

24) Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
Unfortunately.  He needs to take cooking classes.

25) Have you ever asked for a pony?
I *did* ask for a Mustang once…  Vroom Vroom!!

26) Have you, or would you ever, donate sperm/eggs?
Sure!  I’d donate my sperm to you WHENEVER YOU WANT, PEACHES!  :D

27) Can you juggle?
Tasks.  That’s about all I can juggle.  Can’t juggle boyfriends (yeesh).  Or balls.  Kind of the same thing, I guess…

29) If you could enact any new law, what would it be?
All politicians are to be executed at the end of their first term.  Ok, maybe nothing THAT extreme, but SOMETHING to take the corruption out of government.

30) Do the chickens have large talons?
Don’t know about that, but I have a pretty nice cock I’d like to show you…

31) If you had only enough energy left in you for one last smile, who would you give it to?
Jason.  Or Ian.

32) Are you ready to rumble?
Yes. I’m quite hungry.

33) Can you count to Schfifty-Five?
Only after 18 beers.  WTF

34) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
Yup.  I was a little hellion in the 5th grade.

35) How do you spell relief?
E-J-A-C-U-L-A-T-E

36) Have you ever crawled through a window?
Heh. Yup.  I also know how to jimmy a door.

37) Have you ever eaten dog food?
Yup.  Plain kibble.  It was actually all right.

38) Can you handle the truth?
Usually.  Break it to me gently…

39) Do you like green eggs and ham?
Not even in a boat, not even with a goat, not here or there, not anywhere!

40) Who is your daddy? and what does he do?
My “daddy” or my “DADDY”?  My father is retired.  My DADDY works at a convenience store.  Rowr!  GIGGITY!!!!  He could be a freakin’ model!  I SHIT YOU NOT!  He’s got this beautiful smile, bright blue eyes, a MANLY (and hairy!) chest, strong legs, the cutest butt I’ve ever seen… Ok, I’m gonna need a few minutes… alone… brb.

I am...
who I am

I know...
Bo Diddly

I love it when...
you touch me like that

I am know for...
being a grammar nazi. KNOWN for, jackass!

The nickname I'm embarassed of is...
Don't have one

People think I am a little...
anal-retentive

I wish I never...
lost faith

My friends wish...
for a million dollars?

My favorite place to shop is...
WAL*MART! ZOMG!

My favorite place to hang out is...
At the beach.  Wish we had one here...

My favorite band is...
I don't have ONE "favorite band"

Last time I got in trouble...
Ages ago

My family...
is pretty cool

If you met my Uncle...
you'd laugh till you pissed yourself

I get embarassed when...
I never get embarassed.

I want to get married...
someday

My favorite food is...
Salmon

I would like to have....
a million dollars.

I don't mind sharing...
the liquor

If I won the lottery I would...
invest some of it, and spend the rest like crazy

I think Obahma is ...
spelled "OBAMA"

I love it when people...
can't spell "OBAMA"

I've learned that...
some people can't spell "OBAMA"

People love me because...
I know how to spell "OBAMA"

I would kill someone if...
they kept on mis-spelling "OBAMA"

I think God...
uhhh... OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA ZOMG OBAMA

I wish I would have never...
f*cked up back then

When I am mad...
I drink

When I am sad...
I put on a funny movie.  And drink.

I think I am good looking because...
I drink. I mean, wait... "OBAMA".  Dammit, now I'm confused.

My best friend...
is a drunk OBAMA.  Now we're getting places!

When I die...
I'll rot in the OBAMA

What I love most is...
Not OBAMA.

My life is...
Pretty good, actually.  Could be better...

I think the world would be a better place if...
Um.  Obama??

If I could change...
my pants, I would, coz I think I just peed myself.

I gag when I think of...
hehe. gag reflex.

I need a...
good lay.  HINT HINT!!

My favorite tv show is...
House MD

My favorite Movie is...
Almost Famous

I dont deserve...
this shit

I wish I could make money doing...
writing

My job...
is OK

School is...
long over with

I think the goverment should...
stay out of people's lives, goddamit. Also, the goverNment should spend more money on education programs.  :-/

If more people thought like me the world would...
run out of lube REALLY REALLY FAST

The best year of my life...
was last year.  This year's OK. It has potential. I think I just need a good rogering.

I miss...
my BF. Badly.

I think the war...
DON'T MENTION THE WAR!!!


If I could live anywhere...
I'd want to have the love of my life with me.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.  I'm thinking the Big Island of Hawaii would be nice...

My favorite car is...
Ford Mustang GT convertible. Vroom!

I think drugs are...
stupid

Would you shave your head if a family member asked you to because they had cancer?
That is the stupidest request I have ever heard. NO!

What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant?
"HOW THE F*#$ DID THAT HAPPEN!??" (especially since I'm a born-again virgin...)

Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?
No.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Lately?  No.  I wish I were....

Are you wasting your time on someone?
Well, thanks for THAT question, Debbie Downer!

Explain the lasy time you threw up:
Lasy?  No, I wasn't lasy. I was sick with the flu.

Last thing that made you cry:
Not tellin' here.  Let's just say it has to do with the 3rd question above this one

Do you have a bad temper?
Nope

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA No

How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime?
1

How often do you think about suicide?
Are you kidding me??? NEVER

What is your deepest fear?
That I'll be head-over-heels for someone and they'll just be "Meh."  That, and zombies.

Do you REALLY love all your family?
Oh yeah.  Especially my mother's side

What do you want to believe in?
Love

Do you have a secret crush on someone?
Oh, honey, IT'S NO SECRET

Are you proud of who you are?
Pretty much

Do you feel alone even in crowded rooms?
Nah

What is the worst thing a person could do to you and still be forgiven?
Cheat.  It'd have to be a one-night-stand moment of weakness thing.

You're dying in 10 seconds, what are your last words to your best friend?
I love you

...to your worst enemy?
DIAF (Die In A Fire)

Do you care if people hate you?
Nope

Freedom or safety?
Freedom

Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names:
Thank you for listening to me

Has a song ever made you cry?
Yeah

A book ever made you cry?
Uh...can't think of one...

Is the world crumbling to pieces?
It sometimes feels like it's on the brink of it

Name on moment where you couldn't control your rage:
The time when my FIRST boyfriend had a full-blown AFFAIR, and then once confronted decided to berate me.  Asshole.  DIAF, you shitbag!!!

Name one moment where you sincerely wanted to just die:
Never

For the last one, just say anything you want, anything at all:
Uhhh...HI MOM!!!!

How old were you when you had your first relationship?
17

Are you taken/single?
Taken.  VERY taken.

How old were you when you had your first kiss?
12

What color is your underwear?
White

Do you like anyone right now?
"LIKE" is a HUGE understatement

Ever had your heart broken?
Too many times.

Miss anyone right now?
Hells yes.  BIG TIME

Who was the last person you sent a text to?
Jason.  Ages ago.  My phone doesn't txt right. :P

Last person to text you?
Jason.  Again, ages ago. He emails me, though...

Last person you saw?
My dad

What was the last thing you said to someone?
Haw der wuh rum drink now...*hic*

Who is top in your top friends?
JASON

Why?
Uh...DUH!  I'm such a sucker for a gorgeous face/body/etc

Who do you trust the most in your life?
My mom...followed closely by Jason, Tonya and Becky.

Who do you love most?
See 2 questions up, dummy. :P  (unless you're talking FAMILIAL love, then it'd be Ian)

Ever been in love?
See the above question.  Man, you're not very bright, are you???

Who has hurt you the most?
The LAST person I thought I loved.

Has a tragedy ever happened in your life?
Nothing that leaps out in my mind...

Are you happy?
I'm OK

How many good friends do you have?
About a half dozen

Are there some songs you cant listen to because they remind you of someone?
Yup.

Have you ever cheated on a partner?
Nope.

Ever been cheated on?
YUP!  :-(  My middle name is "Doormat"  WTF is up with that shit!??

Ever been told someone loved you?
Not lately

Ever told someone you loved them and meant it?
ALL the time

Not meant it?
I don't beat around the bush, so, no

Ever had your heart broken?
Ever have this feeling of deja vu, Parroty McParrotson???

What is your idea of true love?
Short version? Love, trust, honesty, compassion, affection, and just BEING THERE.  Intimacy is nice sometimes, too.  I like the feeling of connecting with the one I love on that level. One-night stands are just so...MEH.

When they slip, do you think you can let go the small stuff?
Of course!!  I've forgiven people for BIG stuff! Sometimes to my own detriment...but when I love someone, I give them 120%.  It's the way I roll, baby!!!

Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in LUST at first sight

Why or why not?
Coz people are people.  "Love" usually takes me about a year or MORE to reach.

Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love?
Can't really say...

Do you believe that love can be found in bars or is that too much of a risk?
You never know.

Should people go to bars to find love?
Probably not the best place, but you'll never find it if you don't try SOMETHING.  Can't go through life being AFRAID of being hurt!

Or should they go to places where people who like what they like hang out?
This is a better idea

Should men and women be expecting the other to buy the other gifts?
No. You EXPECT shit, you're gonna end up disappointed

Who should wear the pants in the relationship or should it be a mutual give and take?
Mutual

Should chauvinists of either gender be in a relationship?
Yeah...but they REALLY should learn to not be douchebags... Nobody DESERVES to be alone...unless they're abusive assholes, that is....

BATMAAAAAAN!!!!!

I got on one of these things at the gym.  It was my first time (I'm no longer an inversion table virgin).  It felt like my head was going to asplode.  Stretched out my back nice and good, though.  Made it spasm like mad (as usual), but it was worth it.  My neck straightened out so I could actually stand properly.

Good times.

Now that I've had my after-weight-lifting supplement (protein), I'm gonna let that digest, then go on a TWELVE MILE BIKE RIDE!!!!!!ZOMG!

PS:  I now weight 175, according to the scale at the gym (which I've been assured is accurate).  WOO!  15 lbs in 6 weeks! :D :D :D HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY