Filed my Form 1 today.  Now I wait.

 

Came back approved today.  10/2

I went to get them water today and noticed one wasn't moving.  It was Cheddar Bite.  She was dead.   Not real sure what caused it.  She wasn't the oldest that I have nor did she appear to be sick.

 

RIP Cheddar Bite

Feb 28 2005-Jul 4 2008

FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE
 
 1.  An armed man is a citizen.  An unarmed man is a subject.
 
2.  A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
 
3.  Colt:   The original point and click interface.
 
4.  Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
 
5.  If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
 
6.  If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
 
7.  Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
 
8.  If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.
 
9.  Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
 
10.  The United States Constitution (c) 1791.  All Rights Reserved.
 
11.  What part of 'shall not be infringed' do you not understand?
 
12.  The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.
 
13.   64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
 
14.  Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.            
 
15.  Know guns, know peace, know safety.  No guns, no peace, no safety.
         
16.  You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
 
17.   911:  Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
             
18.  Assault is a behavior, not a device.
 
19.  Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.
 
20.  If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
 
21.  Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
 
22.  You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.
 
23.  Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.
 
24.  When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
 
25.  The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.

So there's this guy named Paul Bearer.  If you don't know who he is don't worry about it.  He is/was in a couple of bands.  He's a pretty funny guy but he tells it like it is no matter what anyone thinks.  He's usually right too and that's the funny thing.  He's ugly, sarcastic and hilarious.  I've met him and he's all real.  So I was looking at one of his bands websites and he has this blog sort of thing that I thought was rather fitting. 

"SPRINGTIME IS ALMOST UPON US.WHEN A YOUNG MAN'S FANCY TURNS TO THOUGHTS OF LOVE.... SO,WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? IT'S NO SECRET TO ANYONE THAT I'VE BEEN DONE AS DONE COULD BE-AND I CERTAINLY TAKE THE BLAME FOR ANY WRONG'S I MAY HAVE INCURRED ALONG THE WAY.IT DOTH TAKE TWO TO TANGO-AND I'VE DONE MY SHARE OF DANCING.FEETS DON'T FAIL ME NOW!SO...WHY DO I CONTINUE? HOPELESS ROMANTIC-THROUGH AND THROUGH.A FOOL,IF YOU WILL.HEART WELL DARNED UPON MY SLEEVE.I'VE WRITTEN MORE LOVE/LOVE GONE WRONG SONGS THAN I CARE TO ADMIT.A LOT OF WHICH HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT OF DAY BY THE LIKES OF YOU (and if i may note-i have been grossly mislabeled a "misogynist" by some of you....god,yer dumb.),AND A GOOD DEAL MAY NEVER LEAVE THE PAGES OF WHATEVER BOOK I MAY JOT THEM DOWN IN.THE TOME OF THE UNREQUITTED LOVE....MY SPECIALTY. HELL- I'M IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN RIGHT NOW-WHO,ALTHOUGH LOVES ME AS WELL,IS CONVINCED THAT WE'RE "NOT RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER"..... DAMN!!! CAN A BRUTHA GET A BREAK??? I HAVE NO END ALL-BE ALL SOLUTION TO GIVE TO YOU FOLKS.....IF YOU'VE GOT SOMEONE TO HAVE AND TO HOLD-DO JUST THAT-HAVE AND HOLD THEM....THERE AINT NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT,AND DON'T LET NOBODY TELL YOU DIFFERENT.IF YOU AINT GOT NOBODY,REMEMBER AINT NOBODY GOT YOU,EITHER. WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND,SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO YOUR BEST.NOBODY LIKES A MISERABLE,BITTER DRUNK-TRUST ME! I AINT NEVER LIED TO YOU YET,AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO START NOW.... GOOD LUCK....

-PAULIE SKI (nee BEARER) "

Now it's not spring and no girl loves me, but I was in a band and you'd be surprised at what some of those songs I wrote were about.  Now if I can just find some girl who does love me.  For real this time.  Maybe She'll change Her mind some day.  I'll still be here if She does.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.  Later.  Now GFY.

Oh ya, I guess I am not Sheriff's Dept material.  Had to be the result of my polygraph, psych eval or background check.  I do not know which.  Could have been any of them actually.  There are thigns i won't tell anyone.  I have always thought I have an odd mind and I have not lived the cleanest sparkling life.  I should be in jail for numerous things as should several of my friends.  The problem is...that was all in the past and it has no bearing on a job.  I have thought about going back to school and getting a different degree because evidently my ass isn't clean enough for the crimianl justice system. 

So here's some backgorund info for this.  I used to be madly crazy in love with this girl named Ali all through high school and the first few years of college.  We only went out once and I hung out with her a few times at her place while in college.  Last time I saw her was Feb 98 and the last time I talked to her was in Mar 99.  Since then I have been under the impression she hates me and never wants to talk to me again.  Well my mom told me that she was living in town.  She had found her name in the phone book.  So I knew she was in town but I was hoping that I would never see her because I have no desire to.  Yesterday I got picked up from lunch and we headed back to the shop.  I work in plumbing heat and air if you didn't know.  The guy driving turns on his signal and I said hey dumbass it's the next turn.  He said we had a call to go on. He said it was for someone they had done work for before.  At that instant, I got nervous.  I knew where this girl Ali lived but wasn't sure exactly what house.  Let's jsut say that I now know what house she lives in.  Thank god she wasn't home.  I almost didn't get out of the car.  After being there I found out she has a kid and might be pregnant again.  Also I am not sure if she is married anymore.  The bed only had one pillow on it and there were no wedding pics on the walls.  The place was a mess.  I thought about calling her up and saying hi but I don't know what it would accomplish.  Me talking to a girl I don't want to talk to and her talking to a guy she obviously doesn't want to talk to.  It was just an odd experience and I was a bit shakey when I left.  In a way I'd like to see her just so I could tell her to fuck off.  I have another and waaaayyyyy better girl to think about now.  Now if her and bf would finally break up.  Fuck he is a loser.

So last Friday, I went to Wichita to take my psych eval and polygraph test for the potential new job.  All I gotta say is that it sucked.  Over 700 fill in the bubble questions for the psych eval.  The polygraph test is not like they show on tv.  I had 3 wires on my fingers and two on my arm and then there were the two straps around my chest and stomach.  You filled out a questionaire before hand that the question were based off of.  Then the guy went over the answers.  He asked about every bad/illegal thing I've ever done.  Drugs, fights, guns, sex, all my hooligan/criminal friends...all that fun stuff.  I do not know if I passed that thing because there are things I didn't tell him about.  They happened a long time ago and have zero impact on the job.  If I pass, then cool.  If I didn't, well fuck them.  They basically were after wold I lie on the job.  Hell no I wouldn't.  But have I lied?  Of course.  Everyone has.  The guy also said I overanalyzed all the questions.  When you go to using words like "ever" and "never" you tend to think of examople from one extreme to the other.  My fav he asked was would I turn in my friend if he committed a crime.  I said depends on the crime.  Murder...sure.  Not signaling to turn left...no way.  This guy coudln't get into his head that they were both crimes and that it does depend on the crime.  It was a very stressful event.  My arms hurt the next day because I couldn't move and the chair was uncomfortable.  I'd rather not do it again.

Black Flag-Depression, recorded 1979

Right here, all by myself.

I don't got no one else.

This situation is bleeding me.

There ain't no relief for a person, a person like me.

 

Depression's got a hold of me.

Depression, I gotta break free.

Depression's got a hold on me.

Depression is gonna kill me.

 

I don't got no friends to call my own.

I just stay here all alone.

There's no girls, no girls that want to touch me.

I don't need your fucking sympathy.

 

Depression's got a hold of me.

Depression, I gotta break free.

Depression's got a hold on me.

Depression is gonna kill me.

 

Everybody just get away.

I'm boiling over inside today.

I sure hope that things get a whole lot better.

All I know is that they fucking better.

 

Depression's got a hold of me.

Depression, I gotta break free.

Depression's got a hold on me.

Depression is gonna kill me.

 

Depression's got a hold of me.

Depression, I gotta break free.

Depression's got a hold on me.

Depression, is gonna kill me.

 

 

 

 

Thanks luv.  I owe ya.

 

Ever wonder who your real friends are?  I've been wondering that recently.  It seems that so many people that I talk to seem to not give a flying fuck anymore.  I'm left wondering what happened.  Did I say something wrong?  Do something wrong?  I've already lost a very very good friend this year and I hate it.  It's tearing me up inside.  I can probably count my real friends on a few fingers.  Not even a whole hand.  I try to meet new people and it seems that they would rather die than talk to me.  Maybe I just need  a puppy and everyone else can go fuck themselves.

Ya so tonite I took the test for Corrections Officer down at the county jail.  Not really what I want to do but it might be the foot in the door job I need.  Will find out in several, too damn many weeks.