Perhaps it's because Yours Truly is blessed (or cursed).   Or, perhaps it's becuase a knack for being in the right (wrong) place at the right time...

Am pleased (distraught) to bring you the following late night elevator/hotel bar conversation:

Obvious Under 30 Metal Head Who Turned Out To Be Lead Singer For Hatebreed:  "Dude! Can You Hold The Door?"

Yours Truly: "Sure."

OU30MHWTOTBLSFH: "Thanks man.  We just got back from our gig."

YT: "That's cool.  You look familar."

OU30MHWTOTBLSFH: "Hatebreed."

YT: "Ahh, yes...  I have some of your albums."

OU30MHWTOTBLSFH: "I'm the singer."

YT: "Indeed."

OU30MHWTOTBLSFH: "You look like you need a drink."

YT: "That's where I'm heading actually."

OU30MHWTOTBLSFH: "I'll buy you one."

YT: "Cool.  This must be the magic hotel for me.  I ended up having drinks with Steven Tyler several weeks ago.  Boy was that interesting."

OU30MHWTOTBLSFH:  "Really?  That's cool.  We can be interesting too, we just won't be in rehab a week later."

YT: "You guys are too pretty.  They would eat you alive in rehab."

OU30MHWTOTBLSFH: "That deserves two drinks."

The converstation turned to Neil Diamond shortly after that.  Not sure why.

The above just goes to prove that, even though one plays metal, one can still be clever.

Hey Kids.

We interupt the usual trite shite with an important announcement...

It's been a while, I know.  I am not normally one to blab my personal crap on here.  But there are many of you who know me and know my family and so many of you that I have not been able to get in contact with.

Three weeks ago, my older brother died.  It sucked.  Some of you may not have realized that I had one.  He was quite a few years older than me and for many years not a part of my life.  We had grown closer as adults and I came to know three charming and intelligent nephews and one beautiful and vibrant neice, not to mention a kick ass sister in law.  We disagreed on many things, but I came to find out far too late that he was a fierce advocate for my life and freedom - one can't ask anymore from a brother.  Dean had fought a long and hard battle with cancer and it finally got the better of him.  Something that, while difficult, is something one can try to prepare for to the best of one's ability.

Just this past thursday (three weeks to the day after my brother as a matter of fact), my older sister Geri died suddenly.  Geri and I had, what can best be described, as a complex relationship.  We were not always close.  We at times wared (is that even a word, and if it is, is it spelled correctly? hmpf) with each other as only a brother and sister do (How can one forget 'Star Wars Man Soup' or 'Salem Witchcraft Barbie' - just one example of the intricate little battles we would wage).  But, like brothers and sisters eventually do, we buried our respective hatchets and became the best of friends.  Often agreeing to disagree on many things (and people), but always maintaining a tight solidarity when it came to our lives, family, privacy and freedom.  Her death was a shock to me that is going to take a while to be 'ok' with.  She left behind two of the most wonderful young men that I am honored to have in my life and who I am very worried for.

For those of you that know me well, you know that I don't let things get to me. 

This has.

For those of you that knew either of my siblings, wish them well on their journey (if you believe in that sort of thing), or just remember them.

I'd appreciate that.

Edward "Buddy (well, to some of you)" LeMay

We will return to our regularly scheduled programing sometime in the future.

New Years Resolutions

1.     Will make effort to avoid committing murder on those that use the word 'synergy', regardless of how tempting it would be.

2.     Will spread popular use of the word 'askhole' in work situations, even when not appropriate.

3.     Will try to be kinder to those that irritate (this was changed from an affirmative statement after rock throwing incident involving Yours Truly, a crank head and some asshat that was all about 'street peoples rights').

4.     Will avoid hiding from those wearing red.

5.     Will completely avoid making a comedic pincushion of Sharon Stone (doubtful, but will make worthy effort).

6.     Will bring the term "more is less" to total intake volume of booze.

7.     Will sleep more (again, doubtful, but stretch goals are always a good idea).

8.     Will encourage discussion on Intelligent Design, regardless of negative impact on 3 above.

9.     Will begin drive to appropriate the term "low hanging fruit" as a descriptor of gays under 5' 8".

10.  Will use newly patented "Tortures of The Spanish Inquisition in Modern Real Estate Sales" method in sales plan for soul and money sucking condo in Minneapolis.

Yes Dear Read, it probably is...

But for Yours Truly - it never is.

So, let us begin:

Several weeks ago, Every Homos Favorite Top was pronounced dead in a SoHo apartment  he was aledgedlly renting from one of the Stick Figure Twins.  The reason recently stated by the powers that be is that EHFT died of some kind of accidental perscription drug overdose.  According to Super Secret Sources, EHFT's death was actually the perpetrated by TVs Joker 

In an apparent grudge over bitterness for not being chosen for the role, TJ was apparently seen breaking into the SoHo apartment by

 Tom Arnold

and

 a young Keith Richards - A.K.A. Patti Smith who were observing untimely demise of

 Lil Kim by being eaten by

 Jabba the Franklin.

When asked for his opinion on this twisted, yet mesmorizing turn of events,

Yours Truly favorite Crazy was quoted as stating "It wasn't him, it was

Christina!"

Posting have been  scant, Children Of The Corn.  Am well aware of this.

Have come to you today after reviewing the results of the annual Transformers / GoBots football world cup from Poughkeepsie, New York.

Below we see a shot from the match:

In this shot we see Wheeljack (offensive guard - National Autobot Team, Unlimited) passing the ball past Cy-Kill (captain, defensive guard - GoBot Renegades Limited) to his teammate, team captain Ultra Magnus. 

Ultimately, both the National Autobot Team Unlimited and the Cyberton Autobots Limited were knocked out of the competition.  The final game, played between the Decepticons United (team captain Starscream) and GoBots Defenders Limited (team captain Scooter) ended with a score of 1 - 10, with the victory for this world cup challenge going to the Defenders Limited.

When asked to comment on the decisive defeat again of his team, Decepticons United manager, Megatron

had this to say: "You have failed me yet again, Starscream!".

Color commentator, Desslok of Gamilon

Had the following to say: "Who the fuck won?  They all look the same to me."

In other news...

Dustin Hoffman was photographed with the remnants of his career while attending the premier of a movie that Yours Truly can't remember the name of and most likely won't see.

 Suspiciously, his remnants appear to actually be John Malkovich 

Greetings Children of the Corn!

In trolling through things happening this past week, was disturbed - yet delighted - to find this:

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - A poll of Europeans showed people of different nationalities liked each other more after getting to know each other, except in the case of the British -- who became less popular.

A project organized by the Notre Europe think tank brought together 362 citizens from 27 EU states for two days of deliberations in Brussels last weekend.

They were asked their views on a range of issues before and after the event, including how much they liked or disliked German, French, Polish, Italian, British and Spanish people.

The Spaniards were most popular with 78.6 percent approval at the end of the weekend. The Poles the least with 67 percent.

But all nationalities gained in popularity, bar the British who went from a 70.3 percent approval rating at the start of the weekend to 68.1 percent by the end.

Professor James Fishkin of Stanford University in the United States, who developed the polling technique used, urged some caution about the findings.

"I would be careful about drawing too much inference about people disliking the British -- it's small and not significant, but you know, it is what it is, and it did happen that way."

Fishkin said he did not think France's defeat by England in the rugby World Cup semi-final in between the two polls had had an influence, even though the number of French participants in the survey was disproportionately high.

The comparative synaptic vacum created by the meeting of Death and the 'Maiden' above has actually made Miss Knowles appear Einsteinian by comparison.  When asked about this increase in rankings, the Know camp stated that their patron is currently writing a paper on the philisophical infulence of  Dick and Jane on Track & Field in our world. 

Well, Children of the Corn...

Yours Truly has some photos to share of the recent tour or Empire.  Below will be scene a slight overview of some of the sights was able to capture with limited resources to be had whilst there...

First, let's meet Rajeesh.

Rajeesh was my driver.  Funny, funny Rajeesh.  Best thing said, "Mr. Edward, it would be advisable that you not look out of the window right now." Said in concert with him honking horn on car repeatedly and having the shadow of a VERY large truck pass uncomfortable close to the car.

HOLY COW, BATMAN!!!  Yes, they are like stray cats or raccoons here.  But with a more indulgent look on their faces.

The city of Agra.  The Taj Mahal is located in this, as one can see, highly developed urban metropolis.  Pictures of the Taj will be forth coming, where you will be able to see Yours Truly sweating like George Bush when asked one of those difficult questions like "Can you spell your name, Mr. President."

 For purely esthetic reasons, will pretend that the above picture is a shot of the Lufthansa air-hosts during flights from India to Frankfurt and Frankfurt to PDX.  It's much better than the reality.

In other news...

Glen Campbell, Country Music's version of an extra from Night of the Living Dead, appeared with Willy Nelson, Country Music's version of Snopp Dogg recently at the Gene Autrey Western Heritage museum.  The above shot has Yours Truly wondering if the singing zombie was successful in calling forth the spirit of Grampa Munster  to assist in devouring the soul of  Bob Geldof.  Or is it the other way around...  Yours Truly is not sure who could be classified as more cadaver like...

Will let you, Dear Reader, be the judge.

1. The Taj Mahal, while viewing 105 degree weather, is not all it's cracked up to be.

2. Street urchins with monkey's and snakes are best left alone.

3. Germans make the worst tourists.

4. Contrary to popular belief, hotel food is not always safe to eat.

5. Purchasing a little camera on an airplane because it's cute is not always the best decision.

6. Making a shop keeper cry while haggeling for the best priced statue of Shiva for evil twin can be very gratifing, even with the 'runs'.

7. Don't drink the free 'bottled' water at the Taj.  It's a brings 'Kali's Revenge'.

8. Indian tour buses could be validly used as torchure devices by the CIA.

9. It's best not to look out the front window of your moving vehicle during rush hour in Delhi.

10. Would do it all again.  In a heart beat.

*Because of mini-camera failure, have no pictures to post.  Yet.  Managed to strong arm fellow bank travelers to share pics they took with Yours Truly.

Here, you will see Yours Truly dressed as Shiva.

Further items discovered in travels:

1. Stairwells in office buildings are convient places for vomiting (not Yours Truly).

2. It is virtually  impossible to drink an Indian banker under the table.

3. Some people will do anything for 1000 rupees.  ANYTHING

4. It's best to keep eyes closed whilst riding in vehicles.

Jet lag is not Yours Trulies friend.

Even the foriegn flies laugh at me

See?!  It's laughing at me!

LAUGHING!!!

Well, at least it has given YT the time to find this little happy tid-bit:

 She got her Emmy!!  After two years and three seasons of her life on that 'list' Ms. Griffin got her little trophy.  Now, the bitch just needs to call Yours Truly and her life will be complete.

Plans for today:

1. Find method of making butler go crazy.

2. Work.

3. Drink.

Will have to complete list in order listed as while in the remnant of Empire, must work swing shift, so daily amusements must take place prior to beginning salt mine like activities (although, not really all that salt mine-ish, really).  And since am up, might as well get on with it.