there is a shortage of killer robot survival guides on the internet.

but of course the web is monitored by robots.

In fact, I have this theory that Anonymous is a possible candidate for potential skynets.

Just a theory, although it's more likely to be Windows or some Mac Os. Who am I kidding, if Skynet was a Mac it would do nothing but graphic design and aggressively try to save the rainforest. . . . .by killing humans?




...I wonder if it's the robot's plan to get us all worked up about zombies before they attack, once we stock up on machetes and flamethrowers (which are categorically useless against our metallic enemies) and decide not to buy the first aid kits (because once a zombie bites you, you're done, no matter how much gauze and Neosporin you have).

Or maybe the robots will invent zombies in order to wipe us out!

First off: I'd like to say, don't go to the Jack in the Box next to the east Wal Mart.
Don't give them your money.


So, after dropping Hannah off, I go to walmart cause I have crap to buy, whatevs... then I decide, "hey, I'm hungry for a friggin sausage biscuit"

So I go to Jack in the Box because it's a restaurant I respect, you know, park my car, walk through the door calculate the difference between how much money I have and how much I need to spend, etc.

So I walk up to the counter and tell this frikkin lady I would like a sausage biscuit and a small drink to go. (all I really want is the sausage and the biscuit, but I don't ask her to hold the egg and cheese because it was mildly busy and I didn't want to cause too much confusion, so I kept it simple) she says "ok" then I show her my tits. She, as most Jack in the Box employees who have never seen the tits before, gets confused, asks a purple shirt sub manager lady thing about it who takes a look and also gets confused and gets the gray shirt real manager guy who takes a look, gestures to the cash register, asks "Is this your order? Sausage biscuit and small drink?" I say "yes" he adds on two free tacos and asks "For here or to go?" I say "to go" cause I'm polite and don't mind repeating myself once or twice especially to help out people whose job is to help me out and supply me with sausage biscuits and free tacos. I hand him the money, he hands me the change.

You know, regular stuff.

I wait sort of unusually long for my food.

they call my number, put some food on the counter and I say to myself "that ain't mine" because 1. It's definitely on a tray and not in a bag and I clearly said to go (twice) and 2. there's some extra hash browns on that beezy. I check my receipt, they didn't charge me for the hash browns, so I accepted it as a peace offering for the half hour it took for them to figure out my tits. I don't complain because as far as I'm concerned the whole here/to go distinction is pretty worthless anyway, plus, that's one less piece of trash I have to throw away. So I gather my stuff in one hand and skeedaddle.

I hop in my car, drive away, reach for the immaculate goodness that is sausage and biscuit, unwrap it, bring it toward my mouth and BANG! There's some gat dang bacon where my sausage should be.

Bacon biscuits, as they're called, or bacon egg and cheese biscuits, I should tell you are possibly the biggest abomination to the breakfast world, in contrast to the beautiful simplicity of the sausage biscuit. It gives you two thin, flimsy pieces of bacon, a thick, unseasoned, bland  chunk of egg, and a slice of cheese in between a powdery biscuit. None of the parts work in harmony with each other the only flavors are of grease and cholesterol...and blandness... It's like a mouthfull of shame. SHAME!

This never would have happened if I was working at Jack in the Box. If someone ordered a sausage biscuit, I'd respect the sausage biscuit because sausage biscuits are meant to be respected. If they ordered a bacon biscuit, I'd just slap them in the face, and if they showed me their tits I wouldn't hesitate to give them free tacos.

-so I turned my car around and burned the place to the ground
(No I didn't)
(but maybe I should have)



P.S. "tits" is the name given to my Jack in the Box VIP card supplied by some "Music Saves Lives" company that I got from the AP Tour that, contrary to what the (possibly illiterate) lady behind the counter thought doesn't expire until December 31, 2009(a fact the card clearly states...twice), which, contrary to what the lady behind the counter thought, comes AFTER June 2, 2009.

Every once in a while, there are times where you get the same message in different ways from different places. It's my policy to not ignore these situations.

Because I think God speaks through thoughts, situations, and the people around you.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about how incredibly easy it is for me to give up...like whenever there's a significant obstacle in my way, I'm just like, "screw it" but how could I expect to get aything monumental done if I only take what comes easily, you know?

I don't know how or why I came to be surrounded by so many ridiculusly helpful people, but I might as well not let their efforts go to waste.

gotta talk less about what I want to do and more about what I'm going to do.
-------------

Things to do:

learn to juggle
learn to breakdance
learn magic tricks
start doing extra work
start doing charity work
go busking
leave the country
get a the phone
transfer the eff out of here

So, I make plans; lots of them. I dream, I aspire, I plan. This is true.

I'm probably just tooting my own overrated horn, but they're excellent, elaborate, artistic, engenius, etc. Maybe a little hyperbolic, whatever.

The problem is, I think, there are too many "if"s involved. By that I mean they rely on too many uncertanties at the base, the bass crumbles and I act all butthurt when they never get off the ground, all the energy spent planning becomes worthless, and I have to start re-planning.

I'm not going to take this time to cite an over-used, taken too seriously, wholistically irritating phrase about insanity that Albert Einstein said in a moment that was, at the time, extremely clever.

But I will say it's time to do something different.


Baby steps.



-This just in: Completely contrary to everything optopitrists previously believed, Marlon Barnes is, in fact, farsighted.

As a child, my favorite color was blue. There were only, like 12 options and blue was the most appealing one. Easy.

Growing up fascinated by art, turned blue and the  original 12 colors into categories for more specific shades like navy, indigo, cyan and perrywinkle and in a wave of self discovery I thried to find out what the specific name for the specific blue that was most pleasing to my specific eyes.

It took a ridiculous amount of time, for me to find out the answer was, simply, "blue".


I can't help but assume that's some kind of cosmic metaphor.

I begged for what seemed like an eternity at that age.


We got him the day before I turned 7.

rejoycing followed.


14 years later he can't stand and isn't eating and I have to say, when "eventually" becomes "any day now", it's kind of scary.

-that's all I've got to say.

Sure, I watched it days ago but I didn't feel like writing about it.

(extended from the facebook version)

Mainly, the movie was gratuitous and self-indulgent in every way possible. A lot of the sex, blood, nudity, gags, etc. were completely superfluous and didn't seem to add anything or move the plot forward. A lot of plot elements were just plain ridiculous, and about half way through the movie I was completely done suspending my disbelief and realized "Wow, I'm just watching another crappy comic book movie". I guess I was spoiled by the likes of The Hulk, Iron Man, and The Dark Knight, comic book movies that went beyond being just a thing for comic book fans and had great plots. That's not the kind of movie Watchmen was.

Also, I'll admit, I'm just really sick of seeing movies with environmentalist undertones (and overtones).

On the positive side it touched on some nice philosophical topics of "the greater good", how good can come from bad (and bad can come from good), and moral gray areas, but doesn't get much deeper. The dude that played Rorschach as pretty good, and some of the fight scenes were pretty dope (I'm a guy). The best part of the movie was watching it with good folks.

Also, the sex scene was too long, kind of random, boring, awkward and uncomfortable (I had to say it). And there was too much Dr. Manhattan flopping around.

Above all else Watchmen was just really comic bookish, looking back on it, past my dislike, It's exactly what one would expect an 80s comic book to be like, gritty, graphic, over-the-top, and cynical. People that love comic books will probably love this movie. I, on the other hand do/did not.

PS. There wasn't nearly enough humor for me.

If you think there is no God, I'm sorry but you haven't seen what I've seen the way I've seen it.


Tonight I was lost and basically reliving a scene from a zombie movie.



circling somewhere around 20th street east to 20th street west, avenues G and H feeling slightly irritated. And then I saw it.

I was surrounded by nothing but desert and the moon was freakishly bright. Everything had a bluish tint. I turned my lights of and kept driving; I could see perfectly. Then, I couldn't help myself.

I pulled over to the side of the road, locked my doors, and stopped.

Sitting in my car looking around I was freaking out at how awesome everything looked...then, again, I couldn't help myself.

I grabbed my knife and got out.

Tonight, I laid for a good 20 minutes across the hood of my car staring at the sky and everything was peaceful, I've rarely felt more comfortable. It felt as if there was nothing around and I couldn't possibly be disturbed.

Later, I drove by a broken toilet on the side of the road.


and let me tell you, the whole thing was immaculate.
I promise you, I will go back there.



-Lately, I've been like in love with everything and I don't know who or what to blame for it. Whatevs, school tomorrow.

If I could spend the rest of my life doing nothing but making you smile, I would. Without hesitation.



-it's not what you think.