Don't believe the lies from the UECs in the Liberal MSM; my alma mater, St. Regis University, is not a diploma mill. Like many of my fellow NSA agents, I earned my BA in Homeland Security from good ole' St. Reege fair and square, with almost no blackmail involved. Those Yalies may have their Skull and Bones connections, but we Regites form the true backbone of Homeland Security.
How dare they question the value of a St. Regis education! Studying at SRU in Liberia taught me the value of Liberty, and that we can't allow Liberty to just lie around in the open where anyone can come along and terrorize it. Liberty must be protected behind an iron veil of security, with access granted only to those who pass background checks and are not on any watch lists.
By monitoring MySpace's social networks, I and other SRU graduates are on the frontlines of compiling those watch lists and thus helping to secure Liberty for future generations of Americans with Secret or better security clearance levels.