I’m sitting here, waiting for a phone call meeting to start.  I’ve read the material I need to read and I’m just waiting… waiting….   As I often do when I have a moment, I like to just jot down whatever pops into my head.  So, in no particular order, here are some random thoughts:

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I think Rachel Maddow is the hottest woman on Television.  Does that make me gay?

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I underline that Rachel is the hottest woman ON TELEVISION, not in my life (and I don’t want to spend the next week sleeping on the couch).

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I don’t believe in Hell, but if it does exist, does it have a Starbucks? I know it has the Hello Kitty stores.

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Some introductions are in order:

Sarah Palin, this is Reality.  Reality, this is Sarah Palin.  I doubt you’ll ever have anything to talk about, but I just wanted the two of you to, at least, have a chance to meet.

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He is a U.S. Citizen.  He is the President.  Get over it or get out of the way.

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An economy in shambles.

A small, discontented group, using fear to try to gain power.

They go to town meetings with the sole purpose of shouting down any dialogue in order to prevent anyone from rationally discussing solutions.

They threaten violence against those who oppose them.

They induce fear in the ignorant and, then, play them up to be the majority of opinion.

They refuse to participate in government and dedicate themselves to overthrowing it.

They claim to speak about the will of the people and, yet, they use lies and disinformation to convince people.

They play the race card from the bottom of the deck.

Yes, these are scary times.  Except I’m not talking about now, I was referring to Wiemar Germany in the 1930’s.  The discontented group was the Nationalist Socialists, aka the Nazis. 

Next time you hear someone compare Obama to Hitler or the Democrats to Nazis, give them a little history lesson and ask them how proud they are to be using the same tactics that led to the genocide and the mass murderers of World War II.

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Medicaid IS Socialized Medicine.  Stop arguing both sides of the same coin.

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I think most Democrats react to Sarah Palin much like most “Christian” men reacted to Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction:  Public outrage but happy as all get out that they got to see it.   And with Sarah, you don’t have to search the web to see it repeated.  Her constant malfunctions are only a remote control switch away.

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I’m going to stop using the phrase “sexual preference” from now on.  I realized it implies a “preference”; a choice, not a state of being.  That’s exactly what the homophobes want everyone to believe.

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Most Presidents are very tentative in their first year in office.  They are testing out the ground, getting their feet and, since they will undoubtedly run for reelection, pretty much adverse to doing anything drastic.  They save that for the second term when they are only worried about their party getting reelected.  Anyone notice that President Obama refuses to follow that trend?  He came into office like gangbusters, taking on the toughest issues and sticking to them (for the most part).  He’s not perfect and I have some issues with his policies myself, but, damn, I’m happy to see someone actually get to work from day one without worrying about his or his party’s political future.

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Introductions:

Mr. Cheney, meet Irrelevance.  Irrelevance, meet Mr. Cheney.  Now both of you go away; we don’t care anymore.

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A Death Panel???  Are you serious, you actually believe there’s going to be a Death Panel?  No, really… are you serious?  You believe that?  Wait, wait, look me in the eye and say that without laughing.  Do you also believe the earth is flat?  I mean, heck, there’s more direct evidence of that than there is of a “Death Panel” in the health reform.  Or are you just angry and ignorant?

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I want to define the difference between “ignorance” and “ignorant”.  Ignorance is when you don’t know or understand something; all of us are guilty of this now and then.  Ignorant is when the truth is explained to you and, yet, you refuse to let go of your ignorance.

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I have as little patience for rabid blind Obama Flag wavers as I do for virulent hateful Obama Slammers.  Overall, I like the guy.  But I want to believe I like him for the right reasons, not because he’s a Rock Star.  And, I disagree with some of his policies, because I understand them, not because I’m afraid of the big ol’ black man in the White House.

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The best cell phone service is always the one you don’t have.

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True Story:  A friend of mine is on the board for a very successful health insurance and pension administration for one of the unions.  A few years ago, they brought in an outside auditor to see how they were doing.  The auditor reviewed all their records and their investments.  When the auditor gave his report, he said that they did everything right.  There was no way anyone could have handled the fund better; it was perfect.  And, he continued, if they continue to make perfect choices… they will be bankrupt in ten years.  THAT is the state of our health insurance problem.  To say it’s broken is an understatement; it was destined to end up this way because, since President Johnson, every administration has pandered to big business interests (yes, I said every).  It has to be fixed NOW.

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I do want to take a moment to congratulate the Republicans on something.  There has not been one sex scandal involving a hypocritical holier-than-thou Republican reported in the last fifteen minutes.  Way to go guys!

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Actually, I do want to give a shout out to the Republicans who, while not happy that a Democrat is in the White House, still feel a duty to do their jobs for the betterment of the country and not for partisan politics.

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Oh, and to those Democrats who are still dancing around in their victory dress over the last election, stop performing and posturing.  Get to work.

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Abdel Al Megrahi, the only person convicted of the Pan Am 103 Bombing over Lockerbie, Scotland (270 people killed) has prostate cancer and is asking for early release from his life sentence on “compassionate grounds” so that he can spend his final days with his family.

Compassionate grounds?  Do I even have to say anything about this?  As soon as he can arrange to have those 270 people released from early death to spend their final days with their families, I’ll consider it.  Until then…

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California’s Proposition 8 is still a hateful, illegal, unconstitutional measure that shows how truly selfish the self-righteous can be.

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I had great parents.  I’m just saying.

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Introductions:

Rush Limbaugh, meet Self-Serving-Arrogant-Pandering Ego.  Oh…. I see you’ve already met.  What’s that?  You live together?

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Yesterday, a man showed up at a health care town hall meeting with a sign that said “Kill Obama”. On the other side of the sign was written “Kill Michelle and the stupid children”.  The Secret Service was notified and they are talking to the man.  However, what is upsetting is that no one in the crowd did anything about it.  I don’t care what your politics are, but if you can stand next to a guy with a sign advocating the murder of the President, his wife and HIS CHILDREN, and not do anything about it, then you are a low life individual.  That crowd should have pulled the sign away from him and told him that was way out of bounds.  But I guess not; I guess they all thought it was just fine and dandy.

Those are the idiots you’re seeing on the news every night, the ones claiming they know the answers.  The ones yelling down discussion in town hall meetings.  The ones who are afraid of a fictitious “Death Panel” yet have no problem with expressing their desire to see the murder of the President and his family.  The ones who refuse to contribute anything substantial to the solution and prefer to stand in their own excrement and claim they smell like sunshine. 

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Only a few weeks until College Football Season.  Go ‘Noles!!!!

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Hey, California.  If you can’t serve as a beacon, at least serve as a warning.  Referendums do NOT work.  You can’t brag about having great social programs without the tax money to pay for them.   And you can’t tax people who get to veto your attempts to make them pay for the programs they demand.  There is a reason Representative Government is still the way to go.

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I was very pleased to watch President Obama award the Medal of Freedoms to the following people:

Dr. Pedro José Greer, Jr.- The founder of Camillus Health Concern, an agency that provides medical care to over 10,000 homeless patients a year in the city of Miami.

Stephen Hawking  - A pioneer mathematics and physics as well as a noted author of mind-bending books that have allowed to mysteries of the cosmos to be grasped by the common person.

Jack Kemp (deceased) – Football player, Congressman, several Administration posts, who worked to eliminate poverty and starvation around the world.

Sen. Edward Kennedy – Love him or hate him, one of the most influential figures in the modern age of politics.  He has dedicated his career to equality and civil reform.  His focus on health reform will, hopefully, be realized in his lifetime. 

Billie Jean King – The acclaimed professional tennis player whose very talent and being in the sport championed gender equality issues not only in sports, but in all areas of public life.  I watched her beat Bobby Riggs in the "Battle of the Sexes" tennis match.

Rev. Joseph Lowery - co-founded the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, a leading civil rights organization, with Dr. Martin Luther King.  He has campaigned for civil rights here and around the world.

Joe Medicine Crow High Bird - The last living Plains Indian war chief; author of books on Native American history and culture, he reeks of U. S. history.  Aside from his familial connections to the Custer attack at the Little Big Horn, he was a veteran of World War II and accomplished, during the war, all of the four tasks required to become a "war chief," including stealing fifty Nazi SS horses from a German camp!!!  He was the first member of his tribe to attend college, receiving his master’s degree in anthropology in 1939, and continues to lecture at universities and notable institutions like the United Nations (can you tell this guy impresses the hell out of me?).

Harvey Milk (deceased) - The first openly gay elected official from a major city in the United States (San Francisco). Milk encouraged lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) citizens to live their lives openly and believed coming out was the only way they could change society and achieve social equality.

Sandra Day O’Connor - The first woman ever to sit on the United States Supreme Court.  She was a member of the Arizona state senate.  She was also the first woman in the United States ever to lead a state senate as Senate Majority Leader.  Despite her retirement, she is still active in education and judicial review. 

Sidney Poitier – Mr. Tibbs, need I say more?  He became the top black movie star in the 1950s and 1960s (hell, forget “black”, he was one of the top, period!).  Poitier was the first African American to win a Best Actor Academy Award.  Criticized for many of his racial stances, his dedication to co-existence and understanding between races is well known.

Chita Rivera – A triple threat entertainer: an actress, singer, and dancer.  She has won Two Tony Awards and received seven more nominations.  She has broken so much of the ground advancing women and minorities by just being too damn good to ignore.

Mary Robinson – An interesting choice, she was the first female President of Ireland.  She also served as the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights where she got a lot of flack for overseeing a conference in South Africa that was very critical of Israel (although she was only presiding; she didn’t express agreement for those views).  She currently works toward making sure that globalization doesn’t trample the common person’s rights.

Janet Davison Rowley - The first scientist to identify a chromosomal translocation as the cause of leukemia and other cancers. Rowley’s led to dramatically improved survival rates for previously incurable cancers and the development of targeted therapies.

Desmond Tutu – Another controversial figure, but only because of the times he lived in and the strength of his convictions.  He is an Anglican Archbishop emeritus who led anti-apartheid activism in South Africa.  After the end of apartheid, when the fear of retribution was in the minds of every white South African, he led a formidable crusade in support of justice and racial reconciliation which prevented much bloodshed in that country in a turbulent time.

Muhammad Yunus - A global leader in anti-poverty efforts, he pioneered the use of "micro-loans" to provide credit to poor individuals without collateral.  He founded the Grameen Bank in 1983 in his native Bangladesh to provide small, low-interest loans to the poor to help better their livelihood and communities.  Surprisingly to most, his bank is solvent and he’s managed to spread its successful model throughout the world.

These people are commendable for many reasons, more than I stated above.  No, they aren’t perfect; they are all human beings.  But human beings who did what they did, not because of the promise of a Medal of Freedom, but because helping others was a part of who they are.  Whether directly helping or as a result of the thirst for knowledge, we have all benefited from them.

I’d also like to point out how proud I am that this group is a true mixture of the ideal of the U.S.  Whether or not they are U.S. Citizens isn’t the point.  Men, women, black, white, latino, Native American, conservative, liberal and two openly gay recipients.  Congratulations to all of them. Aside from what they have already given us, they continue to give us hope.

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Finally, I said that I just sat here to do some writing, my mere thoughts while I was waiting for a phone call.  You’d be surprised how liberating that can be, the simple act of just writing down your random thoughts.  Try it.  If you have the time, just open a blank page and, for the next fifteen minutes, just type whatever comes into your mind.  No matter how silly, no matter how poignant, no matter how embarrassing.  Do it.  And, perhaps, learn a bit about yourself in the process. 

Final introduction:  You and your unrestricted mind.

Gotta go.  Phone's ringing...

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It's election time.  Tomorrow, November 4^th, I expect everyone will go out to vote. In fact, we might have the largest voter turnout in the last decade.  Now I hate writing and reading political blogs, but here I am.

Yesterday, a friend and I took a drive near the coast.  We drove up to Santa Barbara then cut across through the backroads, through Ojai and a small town called Santa Paula.  What I saw in Santa Paula was depressing.  And scary.  And has an impact on this nation.  A huge impact.

I saw row after row of little yellow signs that read "Vote YES on Prop 8!  Preserve Marriage!"

In other words, a town that, from what I saw, is determined to bring discrimination and hatred into the mainstream.  There are many towns in this country like that.  And many many self righteous people who are just as hateful as the people who lovingly placed those yellow signs in their yard.  "Preserving Marriage" indeed…

Saying that Prop 8 preserves marriage is like saying forcing blacks to ride at the rear of the bus preserved their right to public transportation.

Oh, did I mention I am against Prop 8?  Duh.  For those who are lost, Prop 8 is a proposition on the California ballot that would explicitly state that marriage is defined as between one man and one woman.  No, no, wait, that makes it sound too nice and cozy.  Let me rephrase without changing the meaning.  Prop 8 would define Marriage as something that only belongs to ONE group of people in defiance of the Constitution of the United States and everything that this country has stood for.  Need more?  It would define discrimination as a LAW and hatred as an accepted method of legal recourse.

It would implicitly acknowledge that Gays are less than human and, as a result, we can treat them as such.

Gay people understand this.  This whole Prop 8 thing is not new to them.  Straight people seem to think this is a recent development.  No, Gays have been living with that marginalized existence forever.  It's not new to them.  Straights… well, most just don't get it.  Even those who consider themselves pro-gay; they can't completely grasp it because we have been able to live alongside this discrimination for our lives; we're just used to it because it's not directed at straights.  We can logically understand how unfair it is, but we haven't had to feel it, to live it.  Which is why many straights will just casually pull the lever in favor of Prop 8 because, in their mind, it's no big deal.

It wasn't a big deal when women were denied the right to vote either, eh?  Or when blacks were defined as property to be returned to their masters by the Supreme Court.   No, not a big deal at all.  I'm sure there was no hatred, sexism or racism involved at all with the treatment of women or the enslavement of blacks.  And don't get me started on the Native Americans, I'm sure we had nothing against those redskinned bastards; they were asking for it by not moving off our rightful land.

No big deal.  Right.  Fighting hatred and discrimination has ALWAYS been a big deal.

But now they want to codifiy it into law.

Prop 8 is an obscenity.  And if you support it or are voting for it, you are a homophobe; a hateful person who feels you can discriminate against others because you disapprove of them.  I don't care how much you say you like Gays or how many Gay friends you say you have.  To repeat: you are a homophobe, a hateful person who feels you can discriminate against others.  There's not one argument you can make to change that.  And there's not one argument you can make to change my opinion of you.  That's how strongly I feel about this.

If you support or vote for Prop 8, you are no friend of mine.  Usually, with politics, I can agree to disagree.  One of my best friends is a hard core Bush supporter.  He's still one of my best friends.  But this… sorry, this goes right to the Constitutional core of this country; this goes to the reason men and women have fought and died to preserve a piece of paper that guarantees ALL rights for ALL people.

How DARE you try to make my friends, people I love and have known for years, lesser people.  How DARE you legally legislate inequality and discrimination toward people who have been important in my life.  How DARE you tell THEM how to love and live.  How DARE you treat them as animals.   You vote for Prop 8, and you are doing that.  You do that, you can leave my circle right now; de-friend yourself from my list and take my name out of your address book.  I'm serious.

Now, I want to make a distinction here.  If you disapprove of Gays or their lifestyle, well, that's your business.   There are things about my friends that I disapprove of.  No, it comes to when you try to legalize your disapproval and force your feelings on others.  That's when you cross the line.

As I have said many times, this isn't even about Gay Marriage. In fact, I hate that term. I don't call it "Gay Marriage".  It's marriage, plain and simple.  The Prop people would have you believe that Gays are trying to force their lifestyle onto everyone.  It's amazing the advertising that has been done on its behalf. Outright lies, designed to frighten straight parents into thinking that, suddenly, Gay curriculums will be taught in school and instructional manuals on same sex dating will be given out in kindergarten.  Are you kidding me?  Outright lies.  No, marriage (in any form) is NOT taught in schools.  But what they don't want to tell you is the defeating Prop 8 means you can't teach discrimination against same sex marriages in school.  In other words, teachers can no longer say "A man marrying a man is bad!"  Just like they can no longer say that "Blacks are closer to monkeys" (believe it or not, that was taught in SCIENCE classes a while back). 

See?  It's about preserving THEIR right to discriminate and hate.

For you on-the-fence-maybe-homophobe-but-might-not-be…. Hear this and understand it:  Gays are not asking for any special rights; just what is due all citizens of this great country.  They don't want more than you have, they want what you and they are due.  They want to be treated EQUALLY under the law.

But, no, you'll hear some say.  Marriage is a sacred and God-given affirmation of Biblical joining.  Well, it may be that to you, but to the State of California, it is a legal contract, subject to State Law and, therefore, something that has to be applied equally to all, not just to one group.

Now, if Prop 8 was to abolish marriage for everyone, you wouldn't hear from me.  Why?  Because that's EQUAL APPLICATION OF THE LAW.  If Prop 8 was about separating the word "Marriage" from a legal state contract, I'd absolutely be for it.  Then those of you who want to keep the sacred status of the word Marriage can still do so just by having a ceremony at your church. (Oh, wait… many churches are now recognizing same sex marriages… darn, there goes that idea). 

Better, let's make Prop 8 about eliminating the word "Marriage", how's that?  That's equal application of the law.  Everyone can just have a domestic partnership.

You know, I realized that one of my problems talking about this is that I get too wrapped up in it.  I really don't have the words to describe the feelings of anger I have toward those who would legislate my friends as inferior and subhuman. I'm serious, I'm a writer and I can't even express the depths of my passion on this subject.

Prop 8 is an obscenity that pisses on the Constitution and greatness of this country.

And even that isn't close to what I want to say.

Look, you don't have to be black to understand their struggle for equal rights. You don't have to be female to understand women's suffrage.  You don't have to be Jewish to understand the Holocaust.  But whether you agree with a group of people or not, you cannot force your prejudice upon them.

A friend of mine put it well once when she said "I can't condone their choices, but I have to believe they are a part of God's plan as well, no less than myself. And worthy of my respect."

Perfect.

No, this isn't a commentary on synonyms, although an association for ketchup will be referenced later.

Wow…. I haven't written a blog since March.  I hadn't really realized it was that long ago.  And a lot has happened since then.  Most of it has been, admittedly, very personal and, as a result, boring for everyone else.

But I'll catch you up a bit.  And, again, this will be boring for most.  It's just catchup.

The major change in my life has been Amanda.  Yes, most of you know about her, she's the new girlfriend.  If you've been reading any of my recent blogs, you know about her already.  She's the blonde in the Callisto outfit.  Yes, we've become an "item".  We've become a "couple".  And any guy who has been in a relationship understands how important it really is when you find yourself putting quotation marks around you relationship status.

Amanda moved out to Los Angeles back in May.  Or was it April?  No, no, it was April.  Yes.  (Another indication that we are a "couple" is the fact that I've already started forgetting important relationship dates, a necessary component for the male counterpart in these things).  That move entailed me flying out to Indiana and the two of us driving back across country to Los Angeles.  It was a great trip and I might just post some photos of it one day (Amanda already has photos of it on her myspace).  It took around four or five days and we also took the opportunity to stop and visit with Kevin and Rebecca at Chez Anderson' in Colorado.  We also stopped in Las Vegas. long enough for me to throw a couple of hundred dollars into the street (if you don't win, that's the feeling you have… I didn't win… that's the feeling).  We arrived in Los Angeles after that (and getting stuck on the freeway in the desert at midnight during a sandstorm) and she settled in.

Let's acknowledge what you are all thinking right now.  If you've read my blogs, you'll know that Amanda and I only met in January.  Aren't things happening a bit too quickly?  Wasn't I being just a bit impulsive or too wrapped in what I wanted and willing to see it despite my common sense?  Isn't she a bit young for you?  Well… yes, it's been a disaster.  What a mistake.  I was just blind, a little to close to things, and wasn't really looking at what I wanted as clearly as I thought.  People make mistakes and I'm no different.  And what's worse, she's now here!  What do I do with her?

Okay, got that out of your system?  Good.  Because that's not the case.  Well, I will admit to things moving quicker than I expected.  But those who know me personally know that I don't do anything without having my feet planted firmly on the ground and without backups in case things go wrong.  I won't go into the details (boring!) but believe me, I was being careful.  Amanda had already planned to make a move whether she met me or not.  Selfishly, that worked to my advantage.  She's great.  She's wonderful.  I'm lucky. 

So the truth is that she and I are quite happy.  Yes, and even as I say that, I want to add "for the time being" (such is my cautious nature).  We enjoy each others company on a day to day basis, we agree on most things (and, certainly, the dealbreakers) and, even better, we DON'T always agree.  Not that I want to spend my life bickering with someone, but if you don't have at least some conflict in a relationship to some degree, one of you isn't being quite as real as he/she should be.

Although her fetish for lizards, Kuromi, Teddy Bears, anime, boba and most things pink is taking some getting used to.  But since none of those are dealbreakers (the jury's still out on the Kuromi, though) we should be fine.  She also loves the photography; to photograph and be photographed.  She's a great model and any of you who have also friended her on myspace have seen it and her photos.

Also, I went to London!  Woo hoo!  Well, most of you already know that as it was part of the Xena convention that was held in London.  We had a great time.  Never been there before and can't wait to go back.  For more information on that, you can visit these pages:

Amanda and Steve about London

London Xena Photo Page

So that's the major happenings in my personal life.  Well, there are a few other things, but I don't think you want to hear about me chopping wood, clearing the yard, cleaning out my garage or trying to make closet space.

He/She looks healthy.
I've known him/her for a long time.
He/She doesn't have a lot of sex.
He's/She's not like that.
He's/She's not gay or bi.
I trust him/her.

Recognize those phrases?  No?  Perhaps you haven't spoken to people who have found themselves infected by HIV or an STD (sexually transmitted disease).  People who find themselves in that position frequently repeated one or many of those phrases just before they were infected.  And we're not talking about people with intravenous drug habits or bad transfusions. I'm talking about people of all social and economic classes; people who are dirt poor and people who are rich; white, black, red, yellow or mixtures; I'm talking about people like you.

And, quite possibly, I'm talking ABOUT you.  People who put their heads in the sand to ignore a threat to their very lives.  How many times have YOU looked at a lover and thought to yourself "Well, I'm sure we don't need a condom, he/she looks fine".  Yeah, let's just get to the main course, here!  Let's get down to action!  And, hell, even if I'm a little uncomfortable with the idea, I can be easily convinced not to use a condom!  After all…

He/She looks healthy.
I've known him/her for a long time.
He/She doesn't have a lot of sex.
He's/She's not like that.
He's/She's not gay or bi.
I trust him/her.

Okay, so let's just admit right now you're an idiot and don't care about your health. Worse, you don't care about the health of anyone you love or will love. Let's just admit it and you can stop reading this blog right now.

You don't need me to tell you the horrors of dying from AIDs.  I don't need to give you statistics or medical reports, there's plenty of material out there for you to look up.  But most of you won't.  Again, head in the sand.  If you just ignore it, it won't affect you.  And, I'm sure, very very very few of you have actually considered how your life would change if you did, indeed, contract HIV.  Even with the medication, how much your life will actually changed.  And, again worse, many of you have no idea what HIV and AIDS really are and how they are connected to each other.

You could google it.  You could look it up.  I, personally, recommend going to the horses mouth.  An AIDS hospice or clinic; talk to those people who have AIDS.  They'll give you a quick show and tell about what they live (and will likely die) with.  But more than that, they'll tell you how they contracted it.  And, as they tell you their story, at some point you'll hear yourself; you'll see your own actions; and if you're lucky, you'll realize you are looking at someone no different than you.

Keep in mind that no one ever got sexually transmitted HIV from someone who was infected.  Huh?  Read it again; no one ever got sexually transmitted HIV from someone who was infected.   Get what I'm saying?  Put it this way, no one ever got HIV by sleeping with someone they knew had HIV.  They got it by sleeping with someone who absolutely could not be infected.  So they thought.

And, I'll repeat, we're talking about EVERYONE.  No matter where you are right now, look around at everyone around you. I'm talking about THEM.  And, if there is a reflective surface near you, look at your reflection and realize I'm talking about YOU.

Still with me?  Why?  I mean, I'm not telling you anything you want to hear.  In fact, I'm telling you things that you'd rather not hear.  Things you'd rather believe don't affect you, about something that isn't a part of your world, something that happens to other people.  And if you believe any of that, even in the most secret chambers of your mind, you are an idiot.

Have I been blunt enough?  Okay, let me put it very simply.  If you don't wear a condom, or DEMAND that your partner wear a condom, you are an absolute moron.  I don't care how long you have known the person, I don't care how close you are as friends, there is no way you will ever know everything about this person or that they will tell you everything.  I don't care what stories you have been told or what you want to believe. You are an absolute F'in moron.

Especially if you're a woman.  Whoa, Steve just said something sexist… no, I'll repeat it: ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A WOMAN.  YOU maintain the control here.  YOU are allowing your body to be violated. YOU choose whether that thing goes in there or not.  Of course, we're not talking about rape, we're talking about consensual sex.  YOU control that, much more than the guy.  If he's already an idiot, there's nothing you can do to enlighten him.  But you can prevent him from proving you're just as stupid.   Give him the old phrase: no glove, no love.  And stand by it.  No matter what he says, no matter what kind of assurances, no matter if he tells you that he just got tested; without the proof, no glove, no love.

Well.  Obviously I have no sense of romance, do I?  I have no trust in people, do I?  The moment happens and, hell, why ruin it by talking about icky medical things?

You idiot.

Even if you plan on being in a monogamous relationship with this person, until you have been tested and your partner has been tested and you can VERIFY your partner's testing, use the damn condom. 

But wait, you (and your stupid partner) will say… testing is so involved and takes time.  You idiot… I can guarantee you that the minor inconvenience of testing is far far less than the repercussions of being wrong.  HIV testing is very common around the country.  Your doctor can do it or there are many clinics which will do it.

For example, here in Los Angeles, there is a thrift store called "Out of the Closet".  Yes, a thrift store, just like Goodwill and the like.  Great toss-away items for bargain prices.  The difference is that profits from "Out of the Closet" got to AIDs care.  I've taken a lot of my things to them and I will continue to do so.  But one of the most amazing things they do is offer FREE HIV TESTING.

I was at one of the stores a while back during one of their testing periods.  A few things I saw of interest.  First of all, they don't rush through this.  Each testing takes about a half hour to see the results and during that half hour, you sit with a legal health counselor just in case.  As a result of the half hour per customer, a wait list will quickly form (so get there before the actual time they begin to get on the list).  I also noticed that couples were coming in together.  One couple couldn't get on the list that day, but they made sure they got a referral for another clinic.  It seemed obvious that this couple was SMART and, hey, they even looked like they were having fun; in it together, making this part of the adventure of falling in love.  Then there was the guy who was an ass.  He came in and they didn't have room for him for another two hours.  He became pissed off, saying "I just put money in the meter, and you're telling me I can't get tested for two hours???"  The woman explained to him the process, but that didn't matter.  "Don't you think it's a little unfair to make me wait?"  As he stormed out, he passed by me and… hell, I couldn't resist.  I said "And it's also free, asshole".  He didn't acknowledge me, just kept on going.  Okay, he gets a push; points for seeking the test but loses points for attitude.  Still… he WAS looking to get tested.  The couple gets a full score; they were there, they were determined and they were still ENJOYING the process as an adventure.

The point is that NO ONE has any excuse to NOT get tested.  But everyone who has AIDS will give you a list of excuses you CAN use to get infected.  They will give you that list sadly, but as a warning.

He/She looks healthy.
I've known him/her for a long time.
He/She doesn't have a lot of sex.
He's/She's not like that.
He's/She's not gay or bi.
I trust him/her.

As many of you know, I have a girlfriend.  She is a wonderful person, absolutely incredible.  She impresses the hell out of me every day I know her.  But the first time we were in bed, about to do the deed, she stopped everything and said to me "Do you have a condom?"

Damn.  I can't tell you how impressed I was when she said that.  And she said it before I said it, with no worry about spoiling the romantic mood or giving me the impression she didn't trust me.  In fact, just the opposite.  But if I had resisted her, I know full well what would have happened.  Nothing.  There was no mistake, she wasn't about to take that risk, no matter who I was.

This woman is no idiot.  She's smart.  She's responsible.  She's worthy of my trust. And that makes her sexy as all get out.

So, how about you? 

He/She looks healthy.
I've known him/her for a long time.
He/She doesn't have a lot of sex.
He's/She's not like that.
He's/She's not gay or bi.
I trust him/her.

Just something to think about.  And if you don't think about it… you are an idiot.

So, it seems the Writers Strike is all but over, now.  All across Hollywood, Writers are trying to figure out how to detach their somewhat frozen fingers from the picket signs they've carried since early November and relearning the basic QWERTY design of their keyboards.  Many Writers are getting ready to go back into their offices and working overtime to try to catch the remainder of the TV season.  Other writers are sadly folding their Writer's Strike T-Shirts and placing them in storage.  Sadly, not because they want the strike to continue, but because it means they can no longer be proud Striking Writers, but must return to their other status as Unemployed Writer.

I have many thoughts about it all, of course.  Many of which I've expressed before, so I won't go through them all now.  But the bottom line is whether it was all worth it.  For the general audience, the landscape of their TV changed.  Some of their favorite shows went into reruns or may disappear completely.  Supposed "Reality" shows and variety shows became a bit more common.  For the people who work in the various fantasy institutions known collectively as "Hollywood", it was a scary and damaging strike for individuals and families.  Despite the all too common misperception that the vast majority of Hollywood lives in million dollar mansions and drive Mercedes and Jaguars, the vast majority of people live modest lives, making modest incomes, but with the added stress of work that is fickle and subject to the whims of audience, advertisers and, yes, strikes.  This is true for the people who work on the set moving furniture to the Writers writing the shows.  For all of us, this was a scary strike.  Why?  Because it worked.  It had exactly the effect that strikes are supposed to have.  It shut down business.

Horrible to say it that way, but come on.  Anyone who knows anything about Labor Relations knows that the Strike is the ultimate weapon the worker has to redress perceived grievances.  It isn't meant to be the first weapon used, but if there is any expectation of fair negotiation, the worker has to show that they have the ability to hit the companies where it hurts: their wallets.  But, as with any other industry, a strike doesn't just affect the two groups, it affects all who have direct and indirect dealings with them.

Yes, that's boring, but, it seems, too many people have forgotten the purpose of a strike.  Which is why there were many people who wanted to blame Writers for bringing the industry to a halt without acknowledging why it happened.  You might agree or disagree with the Writers, but at least understand fully what is going on.

And, interestingly enough, though the battle lines were drawn between the AMPTP (studios) and the WGA, in fact many executives on the Studio side were not all that much in support of the AMPTP.  Some of them were, in fact, supporting the Writers (though they couldn't say that publicly).  Several Executives I ran into in social situations privately told me that they hoped the Writers would win this quickly.  In fact one Exec at a major studio privately asked me if the WGA might consider a side deal with his particular division.  Which, by the way, brings up another discussion I won't go into at this time, but something to think about: the WGA wasn't really fighting the Studios, we were fighting the corporate parents of the studios.  In other words, we weren't fighting NBC/Universal, we were fighting GE (the parent company of NBC).  Those are mega-corporations who treat Hollywood as a division, not as an industry.  But, a discussion for a later time.

Even the larger Agencies were in open support of the Writers.  Keep in mind, these are major Agencies who have working relationships with the Studios.  But they were on the line as well, delivering food at times, just showing support at others.

And, now and then, we would find ourselves walking next to people who had nothing to do with Hollywood.  Steel workers, Airline pilots and crew, IATSE and IEW members.  Teamsters who drove their trucks past gates, refusing to cross the line, honking their horns and waving in agreement.

Ah, yes… the horns… I told a few people that if there was ever a contest to match cars up to the sound of their horn, I'd be sure to win.  Oh, yes, there were a few angry horns beeped in our direction, but for the most part, it was a sound of support.  And we'd wave our picket signs in response (to this day, if I hear a horn, my hand automatically goes up… a bit of a problem at times)

So was it a success?  Depends on which viewpoint you have.  For the Writers, yes, a success.  Not a perfect one, we didn't get everything we wanted and settled for some things we didn't like, but just as with any battle, you come out bloodied and bruised, but you still hold the field.  But, yes, it was a success.  We have established jurisdiction, we have forced accountability, and we have laid a solid groundwork for other negotiations in the future, negotiations which, now established, will be less subject to crippling strikes.  And it will give Studio Lawyers more work in trying to find loopholes around the new provisions (not as much of a joke as you think; it's always about loopholes).

And, amazingly, the Writers showed that they had strength.  There is no false pride in this and the Writers don't want to be perceived as puffing out their chests at the expense of others, but, as Michael Moore pointed out, who would have thought that a bunch of people who were picked on in school for writing stories could have forced the corporations into concessions?  And that the Writers would have stayed together, cohesive, kept the picket lines going, kept the message strong, and kept focused long enough to do this.  Remember, Writers a notoriously independent bunch.  We keep to our little rooms for a reason.  We are creative hermits, we don't like to deal with other people, we prefer our privacy.  Ask anyone who has been close to me and you'll know!  But it was different this time.  For various reasons.

First of all, because we realized the issues involved were ones that didn't just deal with extra money, they dealt with the very concept of a career as a Writer.  The new media of the internet and downloads is where it is all going… hell, it has already gone.  To have lost this strike would have meant the end to Writing as a career.  You'd have to have a day job just to work full time as a Writer.  We weren't fighting for more, we were fighting for survival. 

SAG recognized this.  The Screen Actor's Guild was amazing.  Their leadership, their members, just amazing.  Every time a SAG actor was on the line with us, you'd see Writers going up to them and thanking them for their support.  This kind of support was a result of SAG realizing and understanding that our issues were their issues.  When the WGA went on strike, we got many letters of support from other Guilds.  They were nice letters, but mostly letters of sympathy.  However, the SAG letter was different.  They went down every item of negotiation and specifically stated that they supported our POSITIONS.  It wasn't just a generic support letter, it was a cannon shot across the bow of the Studios telling them that SAG is behind us for legitimate reasons, not just as solidarity for a sister union.  And letting the studios know what to expect when SAG's contract comes up for negotiation.  Will SAG go on strike? I'm hoping that, with the gains that the WGA made and with the already weakened industry, the AMPTP will negotiate fairly with them and avoid a strike.  But if they do, you can bet that this WGA member will be on the line with them.  They deserve no less than the support they gave us.

Another part of it was, of course, the leadership of the Guild at this time.  This was a determined group of people who recognized that the issues we were dealing with were twenty years in the making and eight years overdue.  They presented themselves as grass roots people who had much more in common with the average Writer.  Heck, much more in common with labor in general.  Patric Verrone, love him or hate him, was dynamic and inspiring.  I was a little leery of him at the beginning but I came to understand his determination and focus.  Understand that I've gone through many negotiations and a few strikes, so I've not always been happy with the WGA representation.  I was very pleased this time, with Patric and the rest of the board.

But more than the board of the WGA, we had a picket system that worked.  It was constantly adjusted, but it worked. And we had strong and responsible picket leaders and strike captains who went out of their way to make sure it all ran smoothly.  And, though there were many who deserve thanks for all that, I want to give special notice to Katherine Fugate.  Katherine was the picket captain for a shift at the Disney Buena Vista Gate.  You all know Katherine and I are friends, so accuse me of being biased, but I was really REALLY impressed by the effort she put into keeping all of us informed with her nightly e-mail reports and making sure that her shift ran smoothly.  I'm a floater, I could go to any picket line, but I found myself more likely to hang around for her shift than others.  And Katherine didn't let it end on the picket line; she was active in many other areas including organizing an evening of music to benefit those who were suffering financially as a result of the strike.  So if this seems like a bit of a love song to Katherine, well… it's an acknowledgement of her efforts and dedication on behalf of us all, Writer and non-Writer alike.  

It's people like Katherine that kept us moving with purpose.  Never allowing us to forget why we were there and why this was so important to everyone in the business.

However, the amazing thing about this strike is that, for the first time, it seemed the majority of the non-Hollywood industry DID understand what was going on.  Yes, you, the audience and the fans.  In past strikes, the Writers have been successfully demonized by the Studios as spoiled and pampered non-essentials who are merely striking to get attention.  The Studios have managed to turn public opinion against the Writers, forcing us into contracts we didn't want and situations that were guaranteed to create future conflict.  The Studios have used the Guilds against each other in order to stack the deck.

Not this time.  And, in my opinion, the reasons for that are simple and thrilling.  For the first time, we, the Writers, were recognized for our talents and importance by the general public.  You have to understand that Writers are the bastard children of the business.  Despite the fact that nothing happens until we write our scripts, we are forgotten by the public, denied by the industry and ignored in our creative participation.  In the past, the public didn't even know there WERE Writers involved.  I mean, hey, don't the Actors make it up as they go along?  It seems too natural to have been written (which actually means it was well-written and well-performed).  But this time, it was different.

The public showed its support.  It didn't buy into the AMPTP publicity machine (in fact that machine failed miserably).  From internet sites to youtube videos to participation on the ground in our strikes, they showed that they understood fully what the Writers were to the creative process.  And, they showed how much they valued that participation.  We had many rallies where fans of particular shows would attend, from Star Trek day to Joss Whedon day to, yes, my own beloved Xena fan base who amazed me with their numbers and determination to picket with us DURING AN ICE STORM!!!  We had fans of shows delivering food and goodies to the picket lines to show their support, again, a personal proud nod toward the Xena fans "Xena Refreshes" Campaign which provided bottled water for us on the line.

AND WAIT WAIT WAIT... I almost forgot to mention someone I can't mention!  "She-Who-Will-Be-Unnamed".  I cannot go into detail except to say that there was someone VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY important to the Xena Refreshes campaign, who coordinated the local end of the effort, and refuses to be recognized nor will acknowledge her crucial participation.  Let it be known that She-Who-Will-Be-Unnamed is a wonderful person whom I am proud to know, though I can't be specific right here.  She-Who-Will-Be-Unnamed has reasons for her anonymity and I will respect that.  But I know... even before the Strike, I knew of her generosity and caring.  She is and always will be a friend of mine because of who she is.

But back to the support of the public and the fans.  You folks have no idea how much all that helped.  We, the Writers, were not alone.  We were appreciated.  We were supported.  You gave us that additional strength to keep going, to get up yet again and walk the line.  The internet helped this tremendously in that we could keep the communication going both ways. And the more you (the public) heard the various viewpoints, the more support we got.  It wasn't just blind devotion, it was fairly well informed.

And you gave us a responsibility that we had missed before.  Before, it was a matter of us versus them.  This time, we also had to keep in mind that others were behind us; that we had a responsibility toward them.  Toward our fans.  It was an additional weight but, I think, a necessary one.  Remember what I said?  Writers are notorious loners.  Loners can often become selfish and lose site of the larger picture.  Not this time.  You kept us honest.  Thank you for that.  All of it.

So what happens now?  We'll see.  After every strike, the landscape changes.  The industry changes.  The march toward the internet was already well underway, so that won't be the major change.  But, perhaps, the way the internet is handled will change, at least as far as entertainment is concerned.  I am a bit of a futurist at times, so I have my own opinions as to what will eventually happen.  Some of it good, some of it bad.  But all of it different.  All of it based on past events as I attempt to project them into the future. 

But make no mistake.  This Strike made history.  It changed a lot of things.  It was rough, it was damaging to many, but history was made and the future path of Hollywood has been set.  It's obvious that all of us in Hollywood had a hand in that.  But, for those of you who were on the picket lines with us, or supported us on the websites, or just showed your open support in general to our cause, YOU are a part of that change.  You made history as well.

Sounds a little grand, doesn't it?  To say you saw history made?  Or, even more, that YOU were a part of making history?  Sounds like something a Writer might write.

But it's true.  Hell of a thing, eh?

So this isn't so much of a blog as a catch-up on the recent events.  But it is a bit longish.

First of all, the Xena Picket Day at NBC… what an incredible success!  This was a notion I had had a long time ago, I mentioned to Katherine that if the strike was still going on, we should tell the fans where she and I were picketing and invite them.  Well, after a while, we started to form it into something and, after talking with Liz Freidman, it started to come together and grow.  We announced it and, of course, I started getting mail from fans about it.

Now, before every con, I get a lot of mail from fans.  Some are old friends saying they will see me there.  Others are from new fans who want to meet me (go figure).  One message I got on myspace was from a girl who complimented me and said she was hoping to meet me.  What was interesting about this girl was that she had a photo of her wearing a Callisto costume.  And, I might add, wearing it very well.  So in our chats back and forth, I found out her name is Amanda, this was her first con, and she was intending to show up at the picket.  So I casually told her to look for me and I'd buy her a drink at the hotel bar.

So the day came for the picket.  And, to be honest, I was a bit worried about it all because the weather had turned sour in a major way.  I had heard of several Xena fans who had changed their flights just to be there in time for the picket, but I was worried we were going to be in the middle of the Perfect Storm when it hit.  I mean, the cause is good, but no one should catch a cold for it, especially when there is a convention the next day to attend!  So I posted a message around that said that if the weather was horrid, no one should feel obligated to show up.  But, I went on, for those who would, I would be there, through rain, sleet and hail.

So the morning of the Picket day, it was already dark, murky and wet.  At Johnny Carson park, I met up with Desiree (who graciously provided all the gallons of coffee for the picket, thank you Desiree!) and we headed to the front of NBC.  Low and behold, near the corner, I saw some Xena fans with pickets.  Now, this was unusual because the front entrance to NBC is at the other end of a rather long block.  My first thought was "Oh, they've had enough of the weather, their leaving".  I could understand.  Except… no, that wasn't it. These Xena fans were a part of the picket line.  Why is that remarkable?  Because the entire block in front of NBC is long, very VERY long.  At our peak, the Writers were able to march a continuous line, at best, covering one third of that distance.  The Xena fans COVERED THE ENTIRE BLOCK!  Yeah, some gaps here and there, but there was definitely a line… a strong line.  The closer I got to the entrance, the more Xena fans there were.  If it had stayed at that, I would have been thrilled.

But it didn't.  They kept coming.  And, soon, the Xena staff and crew showed up; our Actors, Writers, Producers, Directors, all there to show support.  Again, the fans of Xena blow me away.  Haven't you guys gotten the word???? This series went off the air seven years ago!!!

Just blows me away.

But the weather… well, it played its hand.  It started out pretty bad… then became sunny for a short time… then turned worse.  Remember what I said about being there through rain, sleet and hail?  I was talking with a fan when I look at my hand and said "Hey… the water's bouncing!"  It was HAIL.  Yes, we had HAIL during the picket!

The Xena Fans were marching… in hail. Amazing.

Now, if you want to see the photos, you can find them by clicking here.

But, note that at least three of our fans showed up in costumes.  Here are two of them.




That's Brad on the left and Amanda, the girl from myspace, on the right.  Amanda wore that Callisto outfit in the cold and rain!

 


Now, remember, I had seen her photo with this costume but, I have to admit, seeing her in it in person… Wowza!!!  And, with all the cold and rain, she sure looked as if she needed the drink now!  She was quite popular with the photographers in the group, for obvious reasons.  And Brad had a great outfit, very detailed.  One of the better ones I've seen, to be honest.   But Amanda's outfit… okay, sue me, it stuck in my mind.  Yeah… I think I could spare a few minutes to buy her a drink.

So as the afternoon went on, the fans and the celebrities intermixed and, soon, it was more of a chatfest than a march.  But a chatfest with the WGA Support signs waving back and forth.  The "rules" I had posted were soon forgotten (to be honest, I didn't expect to hold back the tide, I just wanted to delay it for a while).  But, I have to say this, despite my "rules", everyone who has spent time around Xena fans knows how respectful they are.  There was never going to be a situation where something got out of hand; the other Xena fans would not have allowed it.  I've seen a "fan" aggressively try to approach Renee one time and, before that person got close, three Xena fans pulled the person aside and gently but FIRMLY let her know she would not be getting anywhere near Renee.

So as it died down, two WGA members asked me if I had organized the picket.  I copped to the fact that I had the first notion about it, but that it was a concerted effort between Katherine Fugate, myself and Liz Freidman.  The WGA members were the regular strike captains for that shift.  They proceeded to express their amazement and gratitude.  "We needed a showing like this, the timing was perfect" one of them said.  "They (the studios) need to know that we have the public on our side."  They asked me to give their heartfelt thanks to the XenaNation (I like that, but I told them we were much larger… we are a Xenaverse!).

So, a big success.  Thank you to ALL who showed up and all who showed their support, even if you weren't there in person.

Oh…. And then we had to have a con!

I'm hoping to post my photos of the con very soon.  But let me say a few things first.

This year, the con was crowded.  I don't mean the crowds, I mean the schedule.  It's something that is one of those damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't.  Personally, I don't know how Creation pulled it off as well as they did.  The con had a huge slate of guests, including a few new faces and a couple who haven't appeared for a long time.  Add into that a cabaret, dessert party, breakfast, and, duh, Lucy's concerts. I had the dubious title of most worked guest this year (appearing on stage twice, at the dessert party, the breakfast and…. yes… the cabaret). 

The new guests consisted of Jeff Vlaming (writer), David Taylor (Solan), and Daniel Sing (Ming T'ien).  I've known Jeff for quite a while and I put him in contact with Creation to appear.  He had a great time and was a great guest.  The same goes for David and Daniel.  The Xena fans loved them, I'm happy to say.  I really liked both of them.  During David's chat, I was walking around the back of the audience and he said "No offense to anyone here, but I'm married to the most beautiful woman in the world".  There was an audible "sigh" from the audience!  Yes, he is that real and sincere.  And Daniel was great to talk about (and cuts some pretty mean moves on the floor).

But, for me, it was great to see RJ Stewart again.  I haven't talked to RJ in years.  He's just as funny, thoughtful, jovial as I remember.  I forget how much I really enjoyed working with him.  And we just picked up where we left off, as if we were about the head off to the office afterward and break another story.  And don't think we couldn't have.

Of course, Liz Freidman… well, she will always be a friend of mine.  Even though she outted me on stage….  But seeing the two of them on stage was just as delightful for me as it was for the audience.

Of course, for me… well, I was on a mission.  Remember that drink I was going to buy for Amanda?  Well?  When?  I was running all over the place with my duties, chatting to old friends (and new friends), signing autographs (I'll never get used to that…), and going off on esoteric tangents with fans on subjects that had nothing to do with Xena (we DO have such a diverse group of fans!).

But I had promised a drink to someone.  Someone in a Callisto outfit.  Someone who really REALLY looked good in that Callisto outfit.  Where was Amanda and when would I have time to buy her a drink?  I was running all over the place… Ah, fate's sweet irony!

But I digress…  So the con.  There's no way I can do justice to it all.  Zoe was fantastic, as usual.  I think her stunt show, where she explained and showed how it was all done for film, really opened some eyes (and I can think of at least on Aussie who is probably in tears that she missed it!  Sorry, Penny!)

Ted (Raimi) did a hysterical mock casting session which I have very few photos of because he dragged me up on stage to participate.  And, you know?  A couple of the "actors" weren't all that bad.  And, with his cabaret appearance, Ted can officially lay claim to the Lounge Lizard Act of the Year.  Really good choice of songs and a great piano player to accompany him.

Jeez, do I have enough superlatives to describe my friends?

Lucy and Renee.  You know, you'd think as many times as I've seen them together, I'd be bored.  Never happens.  The two of them are like watching a finely tuned comedy team at a home barbecue.  Yeah, I know, but it makes sense to me.  I busy myself taking photos, but sometimes I can't steady the camera because I'm laughing.  And it's not like they plan it!  It just happens, which, I believe, is the charm of it all.

Darn...where is that girl?  I'm sure the bar is open at this point…..

Adrienne Wilkinson… who can't love her?  She is sophisticated, charming, funny and way talented. And the camera loves her.  Well, my camera has been carrying on an affair with her from her first con appearance.

Katherine Fugate… another personal friend. I mean, you make friends in this business, but there are very few people who you truly enjoy talking to on a variety of subjects at any time. She's one of those people. Whether at a con, on the picket line, or at lunch.  And she brings that personality to her con appearances.  Oh, she also brings toys to give out.

Brittney… ah… Brittney Powell.  Brittney… is… ah… she is…. Well…. How do you…..?  I mean… she's got that… that… you know… that… and those…. THOSE……. And she… well….. the way she…. You know….. when she turns her head and…. Yeah… you know what I'm talking about…. That thing… indefinable thing…. sigh…

Oh, yeah…. She did the bra thing again.  AGAIN.  And, again, she did what Brittney always manages to do… you know what I'm talking about… those things she always manages to show when she auctions off her bra.  Even though she's being very careful when she auctions her bra off, we always manage to see them… yes…. You know what I am talking about.  I'm talking about her amazing sense of charity and giving.  Dudes and Dudettes, I know Brittney, I've had lunches with her, I've spent a little time with here.  And I'm telling you, don't mistake who this woman is.  She's intelligent, witty, and one of the most caring people I have been honored to meet.  If she didn't look the way she did… it wouldn't matter.  Her heart would be just as big and she would STILL be finding every possible way to contribute to charitable causes.   Being a knock-out and auctioning her bra to horny Xena fans is just a plus…

You know that I, along with many others (I hope) have been pronouncing Tsianina's name wrong?  Gosh, what a surprise.  Backstage, we had a chat on her name and genealogy.  Someone even asked her her heritage while on stage.  She's another person who has a certain grace around her that makes her seem less like a celebrity and more like a neighbor.  And I can think of several people who would love to live in that neighborhood.

I don't think I'm ever going to get a chance to buy that drink…. *sigh*

Okay, I think I've pretty much touched on all our guests.  Oh, yeah, I was on stage as well, but since I wasn't able to actually watch me, I can't report on myself.  Besides, the fans are so used to seeing me by now, I'm like that old familiar coat that gets dragged out now and then; not the first thing you reach for, but comfortable to wear while waiting for the real events.  And I'm happy with that.

The problem is that I don't really have time to buy someone a drink.  As much as I want to hang out and chat, I'm on a schedule and I am working.  She did ask me about it in passing once, but she was busy (a lot of people taking her photo) and she was there with some friends.  Oh, well, no big deal.  I mean, she's a new fan; I'm sure she's able to get her drink if she wants to.  Yeah.  Not my problem.

So the concerts… well, I only went to Friday night's concert.  It was, again, crowded and loud.  A couple of funny things, though: First, I as in the VIP section and saw RJ Stewart outside the section. I told him to come up and he said "They won't let me".  Huh???  I went to the security person and said "Hey, this was MY BOSS!  If I'm up here, he should be here!"  Adam Malin (Creation boss) cleared up the confusion and RJ made his way to his table.  Anotehr incident was when I tried to move to the front of the stage to see what the photo vantage point was like.  Desiree was right up front, so I tried to get next to her, but crouching on the floor.  As I moved through the crowd (much like a sardine trying to move upstream in a can), people would, at first, glare at me, then smile as they recognized me.  Now, of course, I had my "all access" pass around my neck, so I could go anywhere, but I was glad the fans were friendly about it.  Well…. Not all fans.  When I was down on the floor next to the stage, someone tapped me on the shoulder.  It was a lady who said "I hope you don't intend to stay there".  I thought she was kidding, so I made a joke of some sort.  She wasn't kidding.  "We've been waiting in the cold to stand here, you haven't"  Now, I admit, she had a point.  However…. I ignored her and heard some whispered warnings to her, but it was a sour note.  As it was, the angle didn't work for me anyway, so I soon moved back to other locations.  Ah, well…

Lucy changes her set and her style!  I have to say, I liked it.  A lot.  It was a little more… pure, is the way I would describe it.  It rocked the house, of course, but it was interesting to see yet another side to her.  Those photos will be up soon as well.  Oh, and this time, she put in some comedy skits to break it up, a good choice I think.

If you haven't seen her perform, people, do it once before you die. It's worth it.

Now, as I said, I only made it to the Friday concert.  I had really planned on making it to both.  But remember what I said about me being the most worked guest that weekend?  I wasn't kidding.  When Saturday night rolled around, I was already feeling the pain.  I was exhausted and my back was killing me (I have chronic backaches anyway).  So I decided to call it a night. 

However, I FINALLY ran into Amanda and told her that I wasn't going to the concert and I had time for an early drink before heading off.   Finally, I could fulfill that promise to buy her a drink!

Well… actually dinner.  It turned into that.  I mean, I had only eaten four turkey bacon strips and a lettuce burger since Friday, so I needed to eat.  What the heck, I need to eat and she hadn't eaten yet. 

So we had dinner.  And conversation.  And.... hmmm... this was more than what I expected... this was an extremely interesting person... very smart... good sense about her... and we were talking about more than just Xena....

So, what the heck, I could spare a few minutes to go to a club for a while....

Now, I'm not going to give too many details but I ended up staying up way late anyway (so much for missing the concert because I was tired!).  And, yes, we are still in communication.  So we'll see. 

But you know what?  Believe it or not, I never did end up buying her that damn drink.

In the middle of all my fluff about my personal life (damn, I've been writing a lot about that lately… keeping busy during the strike) and the hectic run-up to the Xena convention, I will now take a moment to talk about today's holiday.

Or not a holiday.  I guess it depends on how you look at it.  Martin Luther King day.

I guess the reason I phrase it that way is because I am inherently suspicious of holidays in general.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I love them on a personal level.  People get the day off, sometimes presents are bought, long weekends are perfect for travel.  They are great things.

Only…. They become more about what we get out them and not what we should learn from them.

Martin Luther King day is, at the moment, a Federal Holiday.  So most people just gripe that they don't get their mail.  Many communities still have a problem acknowledging it as a holiday.  In fact, it wasn't until the year 2000 that it was accepted as a holiday in all 50 states.  There are still a lot of people who refuse to acknowledge it and, in fact, deride it.

Again, I have a problem with holidays.  But I have no problem with appreciation.  To me, this is a day of appreciation for nothing less than saving this country from a second civil war.  Sounds grandiose, doesn't it?  I don't think so. And I've always looked at what Martin Luther King did in that light.

First, to give my caveats, I am so white, I could be a poster boy for the Klan.  Sherman Paints uses me as a base color for their "Pasty Bland" series.  If it weren't for freckles, I'd have no color at all.  I was raised in a military family with parents who were born and raised in the South.  During the civil rights era, my family lived in Kentucky and Florida. And I was born in Georgia.

As a result, I didn't see any racism at all.  Surprised?  You shouldn't be.  Reread what I said about myself.  What racism?  We didn't see racism, we saw troublemakers who just didn't know their place.  We saw those "black folks" who had it good and didn't appreciate it.  We saw a bunch of whiners and slackers who had nothing better to do, so they broke into stores and stole things under the pretense of "civil rights riots".

What racism?  Us White Folks in the South didn't see it that way.  We weren't racists.  And, as a child, I knew for darn sure that my parents weren't racists.  My parents were extremely loving and giving people.  You've heard me talk about my parents and you know how much I love them.  My parents.  My very human parents.  With very human flaws.

My parents who said they had no problem with blacks having equal rights as long as they "knew their place".  As a child, I remember asking what that place was.  "To appreciate what they have."  That seemed to satisfy me as I felt they must just be unappreciative if my parents said so. 

But I didn't understand why my best friend, who was black, wasn't allowed to spend the night at my house.  I overheard my mother make a comment about "that little black head on my white sheets."

Still, she wasn't racist.  Not at all.

So one day, sitting alone at home, I turned the TV on to a channel which had this striking black man speaking in the most powerful and melodious voice I had ever heard.  And I listened.  And the more I listened, the more confused I became.  He didn't sound unappreciative, in fact he was lauding the very country my father had fought for.  He was speaking of an unfulfilled dream, of rights that belonged to all.  I was fascinated by it.  At that moment, my mother came into the room and changed the channel.  She said that I shouldn't be listening to that.  I asked her why and she said that this man was causing all the fighting in the cities.  And I remember looking at her and telling her that this man had specifically told the crowd not to fight, to show patience and determination.  My mother said something to the effect that if he would just keep his mouth shut, none of this would be happening.

It stuck with me.  It didn't make sense.  Yes, I was just a kid, but I was a curious kid and things had to make sense to me.  Now, back then, Black Panthers, Malcolm X, The Chicago Seven, all those things were lost on me.  What I didn't realize then, and have since looked back to realize, is that a huge fracture had formed in the crust of the American Dream.  The promises of this grand nation, the ideals of the Founding Fathers, and the beauty of the Constitution was being strained and deformed by centuries of slavery, Jim Crow laws and secondary citizen status.

And it was ready to blow.  The American Civil War in the 1860's was a war between Whites over an interpretation of State or Federal control of the country.  Slavery was but one of the issues and, arguably, the most important issue, especially after President Lincoln raised the war to a moral struggle with his Emancipation Proclamation.  But, make no mistake, it was a war between Whites about national interpretations.

It didn't solve the underlying problem.  It didn't even address it.  Even the abolitionists of the time felt that the slaves could be raised up to "white standards".  That automatically implied a less-than-human status.  The pressure was still there, still building, because the real issue was the basic unfulfilled idea, stated in the Constitution, that ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL and have EQUAL RIGHTS.  Among the most important of those rights isn't even a legal one.  It's the right be consider decently as a human being.  Even after the slaves were freed, that underlying problem was not addressed.

And the pressure grew…

Whites only bathrooms.  Whites only fountains.

The pressure grew…

Whites only voting. Jim Crow laws to deny black access to services.

The pressure grew...

An exploding church, black children killed… people lynched…

And the fractures appeared.  The entire situation was about to explode.  One hundred years after the Civil War, like some sort of rumbling volcano, the pressure had reached its peak and the entire mountain was about to go up, taking us all with it.

Martin Luther King, Jr.  He saw it.  He knew it was coming.  He was determined to prevent it.  Why?  Because he loved this country.  He loved the ideals.  He loved the people, black, white, yellow and red, and had faith that we were all, at our core, decent people who wanted to treat each other fairly.  He had more faith in us than we did.  He was determined to release that stress and give vent to the pressure. 

And he did it peacefully.  Yes, there were riots, yes there was violence.  But, my God, people, take a look at what was going on back then.  Any of you, try to imagine being treated as... hell, only tolerated… as not-quite-human.  Imagine all those restrictions that black people had to deal with and, worse, imagine that it was considered "normal" by others.   Normal!  As if it was God's plan all along.  Is it any wonder that a civil war was about to erupt?

Martin Luther King preached calm.  And, at the same time, he pushed and nudged and used his greatest weapon on those who were in control.  He used shame.  He shamed the people in office.  He shamed those who would speak out against integration.  He shamed those who didn't speak at all.  And he even shamed those of his own color who preached violence.  Why?  Because, again, he believed in US.  He believed in a higher greatness in all of us, a higher goodness we all possess, a moral conscience born in us.  He looked into the souls of his tormenters and said "I can find you in there and love you".

He spoke to me.  As a kid.  And today, he still speaks to us.  But only if we choose to hear him over the decades since his death.

But back to my mother. She wasn't a racist.  Of course not.  If you had called her that, she would have dismissed it as ridiculous.  Before Martin Luther King was assassinated, that is.  Afterward… things changed.  Because I remember walking into the bedroom and finding my mother staring at the TV as the news reported Martin Luther King was dead.  As an innocent child, I said "I bet you're happy now".  It wasn't sarcastic, it wasn't meant in any way except as I said it.  I was certain she must be happy.  She turned to me with a horrified look on her face, her mouth was open and slack.  I remember it to this day. "How can you say that?" she almost cried.  And, I think, she realized. Her son could say that because it's what he saw in her.  And that cut her to the soul.

After that point, I noticed things changed.  There was no more talk of "those people".  And my friends were always welcome in the house, black or white.  Why?  It's obvious.  My mother looked at me and saw what her hatred and racism had done.  It reflected back on her in an ugly light and tore at her soul.  She woke up to the higher calling that Martin Luther King had in us all.

I'm afraid, desperately afraid, that Martin Luther King will become no more than a Day Off for those who didn't live through those times.  I'm afraid in the rush to take a three day weekend and the griping of undelivered mail, we will forget the faith, the determination, the love and the very life that he dedicated to us all.  I'm afraid that we will forget that his dream is our dream.  And that dream, though clearer and more real in our minds, is still hovering on the horizon, just within our reach if we can ignore our baser emotions and selfish desires.

So I'll say it.  Martin Luther King, Jr. saved this nation.  And, in my mind, he saved my mother.

There's nothing really special about this blog.  I was just having a conversation with MaryD and it reminded me of something, so I just mused away while I typed.

A little while back, I was having dinner with someone I just met in a nice quiet restaurant.  We'll call her Nicki.  We're going through the usual discovery process involved in these things and, of course, what I do for a living comes up (okay, in fact, she already knew, but only in a general sense).  She was curious about the different shows I've worked on.  Now, truth is, I get a bit embarrassed talking about that because, well, I do have a pretty good resume'.  But I'm between a rock and a hard place because if I talk about the resume', it sounds like I'm bragging or showing off.  But if I don't, well, I'm not really being honest about it.  I have to be honest so I tell her.  And, as usual, the one credit that gets the most interest is Xena. 

Her eyes lit up.  She tells me she used to watch the show when it started, but lost track of it after the first year (something about moving after college, how DARE she let a small thing like starting a career keep her from Xena!!!).  Now, I've talked to many people about Xena, but this was the first time I ever heard someone say the name "Xena" as if she was purring it.  I didn't think it was possible, I mean, try it.  It doesn't really settle into the back of the throat where a normal "purr' would reside.  But she dropped it down, the two syllables dropping into her throat with a real resonance.  And, perhaps, the twist of her lip on the second syllable might have added a reinforcement to the sound.  And, hell, it was sexy!  I made some comment about the rising temperature in the restaurant.  She smiled…. "Xeee-nah…. Xeee…nah…"  It made me chuckle and we both laughed.

Anyway, she commented on how much of a bad girl she thought Xena was.  And how Gabrielle was such a "nice" girl.  She admitted that she was very attracted to Xena, but that Gabrielle seemed like the kind of nice girl she would want to have as a friend.  "So," I said "Xena is the Bad Girl, so she's attractive to you.  Gabby is the Nice Girl, so she would be just a friend?"  Nicki nodded  "Yeah, I guess Gabrielle would be better for me in the long run, but… Xeee-nah…! " 

What she was stating was the classic Bad Boy/Nice Guy phenomena!  So, I tested her "What about Callisto?"

The room temperature shot up twelve degrees with her reaction.  "Ohhhh… yeah…  Callisto… very bad…  very hot…"

That figures.  I understand it all too well.  Because I have also been known as… (long embarrassed pause…) a "Nice Guy".

And, since "Nice Guy" is a curse that can be shared by both men and women, I shall henceforth use "NG" to mean "Nice Guy/Girl" and "BB" to mean "Bad Boy/..uhm... Bitch."

Yes, I know, it's a terrible admission, but I am a NG.  Then again, anyone who has read some of my personal blogs have pretty much caught on to this.

Now, I want to make sure you understand.  Being a NG doesn't mean that you aren't a jerk sometimes or that you are just a perfect little gentleman.  Heck, I might be a NG but I do have my own particular edge.  No, it is more a reference of how you treat people and, specifically for me, women.  And, also, BBs are also judged unfairly as they may, in fact, have many good qualities but might be less attentive to needy women/men and so they are judged more harshly.  So NG or BB is more in the eyes of the beholder.  Though, I wish more women were beholden to NGs….

So what is it with this phenomena?   Oh, come on, we all know it's true.  I have stories among stories of women I have "dated" only to find out we weren't "dating", we were just "friends" going out…  A long time ago, another girl I was "dating" (we'll call her Peggy because, well, that's her name) told me all about her ex boyfriend who treated her horribly.  Then she went through a list of the kind of guy she was looking for.  Now, I'm pretty dense when it comes to people talking about me, but even I knew she was describing me.  And she even ended it by saying "someone like you."  I responded with "well, what a coincidence, I just happen to BE me."  Her response?  "No, no, you're my friend."  Not able to resist, I replied "So you'd rather be in love with your enemies???"

I'm her friend…. *sigh*

Which brings me back to the dinner I was having with Nicki.  She had illustrated the problem by her observations and attraction to Xena and Callisto (in case you haven't picked it up, she is an "equal opportunity" person where her attractions are concerned).  What was it about Callisto and Xena that made them so attractive to her, as opposed to Gabrielle (Lord knows, I wasn't even going to ask her about Joxer!). 
"I think what really made them sexy was attitude.  I mean, there was a 'don't screw with me' attitude.  You'd really have to hold their attention somehow without getting in their way."
"And that's sexy?"
"It's attractive. In a bad way.  And I'm pretty assertive myself." (duh!)  "Oh," she went on, "and the outfits. Especially Callisto's.  Wow."
"So you aren't attracted to the 'nice guy', eh?"  She thinks about it over her pasta (damn her, she's one of those people who can eat pasta without hanging onto it) and says "Maybe.  But if they're too nice, I lose interest in them." 
"I see" I reply "So would it help if I reached across the table, slapped that fork from your hand, grabbed your hair and told you to shut up?"  "No!" She said.  Then "Wait… what was the part about grabbing my hair?"

Okay, away from that again… back to the discussion.  The BB/NG thing.  I never really thought of Xena and Gabrielle as being portrayed that way.  Okay, between the characters, I don't think it was the case. I certainly never wrote them as being attracted to each other for those reasons.  They're relationship was much deeper than that and, besides, it's not like Gabby didn't do some pretty crappy things to Xena now and then.  But Nicki's reaction to the characters was interesting because it matches so much about my observations about my own relationships.  And I wondered how many of the Xena fans might have divided their allegiances between the characters on the BB/NG line?

But back to me (it's always about me, isn't it?) MaryD, in our chat, just blatantly told me "You're too nice a guy, mate" (she can say "mate", she's an Aussie… they make it sound natural).  "You need a nice girl." She continued.  Now, the problem is that I'm not attracted to BBs.  At least, not the ones you think of.  I am can be attracted to the wrong people, that's true and I've more than proven it in my past.  But the BB doesn't have a bit of attraction to me.  And, I'd like to think, the classic BB isn't attracted to me.  Probably because I am a NG.  But are the people who are attracted to BBs really NGs or are they just FU'pd?

Okay, wait… let's figure this out…. There has to be some sort of unified rule about this… like genetic law or blood typing… NGs are to BBs, but BBs aren't to NGs, but BBs can be to BBs as NGs can, but rarely are, to NGs.  If NGs and BBs do manage to work out, does it mean that one isn't really a BB or a NG after all?  Perhaps it's a time related problem!  The longer a BB/NG matching continues, the more likely the BB becomes a NG, but the NG rarely can become a BB without terminating the relationship!  But a NG/NG pairing of former BB/BB is still a stable pairing because they would both be NG to the other relative to themselves!  Yes! I think that's it!  By God, I think I finally have the basics of a unified theory of the BB/NG relationship!

"You don't happen to have one of the Callisto outfits, do you?"
Nicki broke me out of my dreams of a Nobel Prize in Relationship Physics. 
"I would look so great in that outfit." She says with pure conviction.
"What, you want to try it on?"
"Yeah!"
Visions of this girl wearing the Callisto costume danced through my head.  But, sadly… "No," I told her.  "Afraid not.  I do have the original Sheena costume, though."
She continued eating. Then, looked at me with a mischievous smile and said  "Sheee-nah…. Sheee-nah…."