Dearest Plague Rats,

It's a sunny day in Heaven. I've been going through the mass of beautiful gifts and tokens and remembrances given to me and the girls by you during this last tour, and I am again overwhelmed by just how god damn crafty you all are! Hand knit stockings and bears, books, drawings, paintings, poetry, hand made teacups and jewelry, embroidered socks, muffins galore, and even home movies from your own Asylum cells, muffin songs (We Are The Muffins, My Friends...), and videos of the mad tea parties you hold with your friends (in bed)! It is all too good.

We are all so grateful.

And so, so happy.  

And to know that you crazies are out there playing "Asylum" and dressing up as Captain Maggot, Aprella, Contessa, Veronica, and the rest, learning our silly moves, reciting Contessa's prayers, it just blows my fragile little mind...it was so lovely to see, and made me probably the very proudest I have ever been, ever. Bring on the play time. Bring on the dress up. We don't do enough of that in this world, do we? The play's the thing...

Guess what, cupcakes?

I'm going to show you my favorite picture I've ever taken, because, well, it's Wednesday. I was saving it for Rolling Stone (Scone?), but, fuck magazines, you get it first. Happy Cinco de Mayo, bitches.

Cupcake by fLee, blood by me.

This is one of those very rare shots of myself that I can stand looking at, primarily because the whole experience of this shoot was absolutely lovely. It was undoubtedly my and Asylum photog Casey Mitchell's best work, and fLee was there as set stylist, cupcake designer, and "tea" sharer (it was actually champagne -- don't ever, ever do a photo shoot without champagne, muffins, that's pro secret no. 1). It was fun, silly, stupid, messy, sparkly, pretty, delicious (did you see all the cookies?!!?!), violently feministic, and, come on now, BASIL the plague rat was my co-model! Does it get any better than that? He is disgustingly photogenic, it's not fair...not one bad angle on that rat.

Anywhats, this was a shoot I'd been planning for a long time, and I am uncharacteristically proud of it. Especially my pasties. I'd made them, and everything else, myself, and only got the glue off my fingers in time to smile for the camera. Which is as it should be. Always.

With Love & Bloody Crumpets from the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls, Block B, Cell W14, Inmate A,

EA

P.S.

The Plague: Get it. Feed it. Spread it. Sluts.

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Dearest Plague Rats,

I would love nothing more than to regale you with tales from the Asylum Tour of madness, and I promise to do so in the next couple of days now that I am safely back in my cell, BUT FIRST, I must take this moment to explain to you the situation regarding the incredibly unfortunate cancellation/postponement of the USA tour dates which were to have taken place on May 22 in New York at the Highline Ballroom and on June 7 in Los Angeles at the Key Club, both splendid venues that I was out of my mind with excitement to be playing.

Subject The First: Reasons for the Postponed/Cancelled Dates

Johnnie Clapper, formerly half of the Trisol record label and the person who was acting as my temporary manager and booking agent (and who has been fired from all positions and whom legal action is being taken against), had booked those two US dates without my approval of the details or contracts, but I was happy to honor the dates just the same having been given the promise that US tour dates between the two dates were being booked in order to support the two existing dates, and thereby make a real US tour possible. However, once I arrived in Europe for the commencement of the European Asylum Tour these weeks ago, I was stunned to find that no dates other than the NY and LA shows had been booked at all. This makes it virtually impossible for myself, my Crumpets, and my crew to play these two dates with such an amount of empty space in between -- the sheer cost would be ridiculously prohibitive. I was disappointed and terribly saddened to have to cancel/postpone these two dates, especially as I had expected a whole US tour to take place during that time.

Subject The Second: Refunds

I have only just learned today that some tickets for these shows were being sold through Ticketmaster/the venues, with some others being sold by a service called TicketAsylum.com. TicketAsylum.com was being run by Johnnie Clapper, with all proceeds going directly into his own personal PayPal account. I have nothing to do with TicketAsylum.com, and never authorized the sale of tickets or any other merchandise through this service in any way. I do not run the site, have not authorized the site, and have received no money from anything sold on the site.  

I hope that anyone of you who have purchased tickets from the venues/Ticketmaster have been able to get refunds, and I will be looking further into that in the next day (I've only just arrived home from the tour where I had little opportunity for phone/internet access), and will report back on any details that will be of help to you in getting full refunds for any tickets purchased. 

As for any tickets purchased from TicketAsylum.com, I can only direct you to Johnnie Clapper directly in order to be refunded. I have no further connection with Johnnie Clapper, and never authorized or knew about these sales. I can provide Johnnie Clapper's contact information to assist you in the only way I am able:

email: johnnie@trisol.de or info@ticketasylum.com

I can do nothing but express my deepest regret for the cancellation/postponement of these two US dates, and to apologize for the immense inconvenience this causes to all of you who have already purchased tickets, or were planning on coming to the shows. I can assure you that this is even more disappointing to me than it is to you.

However! I am also extremely pleased to announce to you all that more reputable, reliable, and honest staff are being put into place as we speak, and that a more extensive US tour, as well as dates worldwide, are being planned for the very near future. I hope that we will be playing the Highline Ballroom and the KeyClub as part of this upcoming US tour, and we all promise to bring you the show of a lifetime.

I hope you will accept my apologies and understand this very difficult situation that I have found myself thrust into. 

Love and thanks from the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls, and with more tales to come, and extra extra thanks with marmalade on top for joining us all on this latest Asylum tour. I an entirely overwhelmed by how completely fabulous and kind you have been to me, Aprella, Contessa, Captain Maggot, and Naughty Veronica, and we are all so grateful for your company and for singing your beautiful and generous hearts out with us all over the world. We will be seeing you again very, very soon!

EA