Not only did I grow up listening to and laughing at the brilliant George Carlin, but I also had the distinct pleasure of opening for him during the entire summer of 1987, when I was just breaking through in comedy.

After our show in New York City he was the first to call and congratulate me on the positive review my HBO special had just received.  Can you imagine receiving accolades from the comedy legend,  George Carlin?  I will never forget that, nor this comic genius who so  profoundly influenced me and every comic working today.

The world has lost the Picasso of modern stand-up comedy, George Carlin.

Judy Tenuta

I have been busy banishing enemies like this bipolar, gargantuan pseudo-assistant/wannabe drag  queen who looked like Ursula the underwater sea-bitch in a pickup truck! Beware of this useless piece of spacejunk formerly known as the planet Pluto who parks his intergalactic girth on your sofa while shaving his back, applying a bucket of Mac,  and wolfing down a subway sandwich the size of Brazil....okay, enough about Britney's personal life! 

Now onto the adventures of the LOVE GODDESS!  I just finished performing on a Gay Cruise with 2,000 hot Seamen and a giant floating buffet!  Thankfully the Goddess did not gain an ounce since I line-danced with the clogging queens 24/7!  They were most worshipful and clamored for photo-ops with me & my mom.  The first night, I did 2 shows with standing O's and the rest of the time played bingo, judged a swimsuit contest, and laughed as they rolled around in a chocolate fountain at midnight., decked out in boas and sequins.. while singing along with Nikki Blonsky from the movie Hairspray!  Eat your heart out, George- Bush-whacker! Soon that hillbilly billionaire will be riding the bull in Dall-ass (sorry, Laura).  Anyway, how exciting is this Blow-down between the Democratic presidential hopefuls?  I loved that photo of Obama in is Aunt Jemima garb....if anything that would endear him to the crystal-meth snorting soccer Moms of Afghanastan!  And Billary is out there in her pantsuit punching her way to the Ovular Office!   May the best man win!!!

First of all, the Goddess must proclaim I am now 3 days steroid free, so I am qualified to pitch for the Dodgers...disqualified from mudwrestling with Nicole Richie who IS on road-roids, so that her new baby will know how to drug-drive....NASTY...but it could happen..

The Goddess must also trash Victoria Beckham....does this bitch look like an Alien Andy Warhol on crack? Plus her annoying cockney accent sounds like she's Fagan about to burst into singing, "you've got to pick a pocket or 2"...the bitch needs a muzzle AND a BURGER!!!! As if we don't have enough Brits taking over American shows....let the Bitch stay in England, where Elton John can use her for floss. The bitch was complaining about the price of Beverly Hills living...if she's strapped for cash, let her kids sell chiclets in Tijuana. NICE!!!

From the Blogoddess! archives: October 27, 2004

I helped roast "Titanic" writer/producer/director, James Cameron and Ed McMahon at the Tom Arnold Celebrity roast.

"At first, I was apprehensive about being the only female on the dais, but then I realized, Hey, I'm the only woman in Hollywood that hasn't been married to one of you pigs…but the night is still young….right, Ed?"

Judy follows Angelina Jolie's lead and decides to adopt a young, impressionable sailor.

Judy takes in the millions of lights in front of Riverside's famed Mission Inn.